Asklemmy

every word i use is right, its the english language that is wrong

I was homeschooled and was basically educated by books, so I have a massively large vocabulary and I mostly use it correctly.

But pronunciation? I'm fucked.

Encephalitis is caused by viral infections. Our immune system usually suppresses said viruses, and HIV takes away the ability to suppress them.

This happens with a lot of illnesses... thrush, Tuberculosis, fungal infections. HIV allows a lot of stuff to have far worse impact than it normally would.

That's not quite the same as HIV causing them... Pedantic maybe, but since we're talking about words meaning things... ;)

Oh in English -- I used to say renumerate (numerate a second time) instead of remunerate (pay someone for a thing).

Freedom.

Apparently where I live it means torture people till they off themselves.

How about " till " in English vs " 'til " ?

In English, a till is a cash drawer or a plough. The abbreviation for "until" is " 'til ".

I see it in subtitles. I worry for society.

I used the term 'pursuant' incorrectly for a long time. I thought it meant something like 'things you do in order to achieve something', like sweeping the floor is pursuant to getting the kitchen clean, vs the correct usage, which is either 'in accordance with', or 'in a manner conformable to'. So a correct usage would be 'sweeping the floor is pursuant to the procedure we set up to clean the kitchen'. Nice word, though. I like it.

I thought phallic (fálico) meant flawed (falho) and used it so much. I cringe when I remember this 😭

Awkward because encephalitis is caused by HIV.

From the NHS website:

Encephalitis is most often due to a virus, such as:

• herpes simplex viruses, which cause cold sores (this is the most common cause of encephalitis)
• the varicella zoster virus, which causes chickenpox and shingles
• measles, mumps and rubella viruses
• viruses spread by animals, such as tick-borne encephalitis, Japanese encephalitis, rabies (and possibly Zika virus)

Encephalitis caused by a virus is known as "viral encephalitis". In rare cases, encephalitis is caused by bacteria, fungi or parasites.

Is encephalitis caused only by HIV, though?

I seem to think it was a thing before HIV.

I happily described a nice coffee shop as "kitschy" to the guy behind the counter and quickly learned from his reaction that it isn't the synonym for "artsy" that I thought it was.

literally, apparently.

I used poignant wrong for a long time, when it came to describing memories. I thought it meant the memories were strong, clear sensory ones but it meant sad ones.

Nothing too big or embarrassing, but for a while I thought "nepotism" just meant the same as "narcissism" when it's actually about favoritism towards one's family.

Not a super long time but I conflated apocryphal with like sagely or scholarly

I lived for the better part of a decade in Vietnam thinking "đại lý" was a loan word from English meaning "daily".

It actually indicates an agent (like a reseller) -- e.g. a lottery ticket seller, news stand, and so on. "Daily" just worked in all those contexts by coincidence.

I also mix up "in stock" (in a warehouse) and "available". So an analogy is I often ask people if they have "a clock in their warehouse" instead of if they "have the time".

Also probably two dozen equally weird things I'm not even aware of. People are pretty chill about it, mostly because the number of people without Vietnamese heritage that speak the language in any capacity, rounds down to zero.

Can I submit an expression? "Have the work cut out for you". My thinking was "there was a lot of work, but my boss said I'll have the work cut out for me. Phew, now there's less work after some of it being cut out!"

I used to say "worth nothing" while, obviously, the correct way is "worth noting".

However, given how many Google results are there about the wrong spelling, I'm clearly not the only one.

The word Segue meaning transition.

Always used Segway instead which was incorrect.

I have bad hearing so I mostly just mispronounce words...

Nonce. I've always used it just like Dunce. Turns out it does in fact not mean the same and instead means pedo.