I find the concept of a "divine war" so strange. Like, bro. You literally created the enemy lol. You literally know every move he's going to make. Why is there a war when you already know the exact steps to beat him? And what about the victory makes you happy? I keep saying it, but God is just Kaiba from YuGiOh. He invents the game, leads its developments, and becomes cocky whenever he defeats someone.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

White Jesus with his lush hair.

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's not Jesus. That's AJ Styles. You can tell, because he's the pastiest-faced white boy on the block and not some short brown guy with giant pecks and a neck like a tree trunk.

[–] OgdenTO@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

Seriously that Jesus is completely pec-free. No hard punches coming from that guy.

[–] cryptymythy@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

I gotta imagine it's tough to throw a decent jab with stigmata

[–] CarbonConscious@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

It's nice that they're wearing gloves for the final throwdown. Wouldn't want anybody's lil knuckies getting hurt when deciding the fate of the material realm.

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Satan has the reach and the power, but Jesus has recently been seen doing grappling training with legendary wrestler Jacob, so if he can get inside those punches he has a chance to take him down. Satan's been hitting the BJJ really hard though so he's not gonna make it easy for the Son of God.

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

also expect him to fight dirty with those horns

[–] determinism2@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don't know if I've never seen hell depicted with a gated entrance.

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

"gates of hell" is a pretty common phrase. Dante passed through one inscribed with the famous "abandon all hope, ye who enter here"

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

Neither because they're merged at the hand. The Machine is getting poetic on us.

[–] NoYouLogOff@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

The one you feed.

Alternatively, the Hexbear reading this.

[–] WittyProfileName2@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago

Why's a Chuck Tingle book cover getting in a fist fight with Mehrunes Dagon?