A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
Well, at least he isn’t entering strangers’ homes and breaking all the pots.
I wouldn't be so sure. Last I heard, little Michael started moving around almost entirely by rolling.
Does he make loud "hyah!" sounds while doing it? If he's silent, he might have been influenced by Dark Souls and you should keep him away from anyone exceptionally tall lest he confuse them for a boss fight.
Because I played Dragon Quest and Zelda, I developed an unfortunate predilection for walking into strangers houses and smashing pots and vases and stuff. Took years of therapy to break that habit. :(
I still can't even look at a barrel.
How about a chicken?
Guys it's a real problem. I spent too much time playing Satisfactory, Factorio, and Captain of Industry and now I've been tasked with setting up a couple of production lines at work.
This woman is complaining about her kid wanting to pick up coins? Holy shit, what a complete non-issue. My little Timmy got into Super Mario, and now he's addicted to mushrooms. At least her kid is making money; mine is costing me a fortune in truffles.
Shit... Coin pickup addiction has claimed yet another innocent young soul. All the achievements this poor young fella had ahead of him, taken away by the foul mistress that is "kabling".
Whoa, don't think achievements are all good! Video games left me with a chronic addition to achievement hunting that I only escaped from last year. To this day, I still have to fight the urge to take random objects and place them in obtuse places for the off chance that I'll get an achievement for sticking a traffic cone on a road sign or something.
My child tripped and threw a sack of coins into the air 😥
Happened to my grandbabies. All they do is sit around catching pokey mans all day. Don't even know how to start an oven or use a chainsaw but they at least could get the boobies off my back screen after my phone was wormed.
My son's dog got run over by a car and he said "Mommy mommy where's the reset button?" life doesn't have a reset button!!
/s
Wa wa wa wahh
Is her son Ronnie Radke
Late entry for an Emmy