this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2023
265 points (98.2% liked)

The Onion

6638 readers
991 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social
265
Putin Distraught Over Friends Who Keep Dying Under Mysterious Circumstances (www.theonion.com)
submitted 2 years ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website to c/theonion@midwest.social
6 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 6 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] rtxn@lemmy.world 29 points 2 years ago

I wish them a swift reunion.

[โ€“] GammaGames@beehaw.org 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Poor guy, hope he sees them again soon ๐Ÿ™

[โ€“] aeronmelon@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

"Your friends are right on the other side of that window, go say hi."

[โ€“] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

It must be like that movie Final Destination. He must be terrified!

...probably why he literally shit his pants.

[โ€“] OurTragicUniverse@kbin.social 10 points 2 years ago

Perfect thumbnail for the title! The Onion doesn't often make me laugh that hard but this got me.

[โ€“] Nacktmull@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Oh no, the poor guy!