Asklemmy

Ow!

If this involves some kind of adjustment of orientation, then I will be doing an early Father Christmas act and coming down from where I have appeared halfway up the chimney (being generous about how wide that chimney is). If it doesn't, then I am going to be part of the brickwork - except for my guts and arse, which will rot in place in the chimney over the next few weeks.

I might be stuck in the floor since I'm laying on a mattress on my left side.

I am one with my bookshelves. Unfortunately the Steam Deck hasn't fared well.

I'm european, so it doesn't affect me at all.

I would be spooning my dog who is on the other end of the couch. If this was a competition I’d submit my outcome for winner or at least most wholesome. Some of y’all’s are definitely more funny though.

My cat Ralph is not gonna be happy about that.

Inside a decorated Christmas tree. Maybe I can blame the cat for all the glass bulbs I'd break?

I'm taking a shit in my bathroom cabinet now.

I am now sitting on the laptop my company gave for work, most likely breaking it. Which is unfortunate, but I can probably just request another.

I die with my body stuck in the foundation. Now my house is gonna be all stinky >:(

I'm still on the couch, slightly further away from my wife.

My left arm is now part of the wall, so at least I didn't die outright.

I instantly swapped chair in the dining room.

I have either bisected the wall, or the wall has bisected me.

I'm now outside the train going 200km/h and have a nice, hard and long fall in half a second to look forward to.

I am inside a refrigerator. Not so great

I'm pooping. Two feet to my left is a wall. I'd be inside the wall D:

Whose left? If I'm lying on my left side do I go straight down?

I've merged into my bed and finally have an excuse to not get off of it.

My husband is very happy, but he also dies (in his video game)

I'm laying on my side in bed, so.... I guess I jump two feet in the air, fall, make a big sound, probally bounce off and break some stuff and then have back problems all day.

i'm now in the stall someone else is shitting in

I have a bag of Skippy Peanut Butter Balls lodged in my ass. If I move they won't be there any more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

15 stories high in the air over a concrete street.

Fuck, I'm merged with the side of the sofa, and my cat's ass sticks out of my chest. I don't care already though, she mixed with my heart and lungs.

I'd be shitting in the neighbor's toilet. It would probably be hard to explain why I'm in their apartment in my underwear.

i telefrag my partner, killing her instantly

not a good way to greet the day, admittedly

I die because I get teleported into the earth's air which mixes into all my muscles and bones and organs, destroying most of my cells, stopping my heart due to blood bubbles in my heart if I don't instantly die from that, while a vacuum 2ft next to me implodes.

I find myself sitting inside the end table next to the sofa, instantly destroying it along with a lamp a ukulele, and several glasses I haven't taken to the sink yet

Dead. I'm laying on my left side.

I am in the vacuum of space.

Very uncomfortable. You've pulled me off my bed and now I'm laying naked on my power inverter.

Two very pissed off cats.

I'm in a sitting position, one foot beyond my desk, with my feet about 10 inches off the ground, and my butt is about 16 inches off the ground. I fall on my ass comedically, amidst loud cursing.

Inside my coat closet...not the first time I'll struggle getting out of one

I'd be on the floor. Which is a problem because I have a broken ankle/leg and can't put weight on it for another week.

I am now out of my cozy and comfy bed and on the floor while hitting my head on my lamp :(

I just took my evening shit on the floor of my bathroom, which is unfortunate.