Hi-res version from The Onion's website
this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I'm so "what is Obama's last name" poisoned my first reaction was that's not Obama, that's his wife
Classic Chiblee bit,
"Name a woman"
"Obama's wife"
Chiblee, chibleeee
We love our chiblee
Olivia Munn, Chibleeeeee
bandle today pharaoh? eeeuuGHHH
First she took away the pizza and slice of cake for school lunch now she's subjecting kids to overexertion. Mrs. Obama is truly a fitness nazi.
But the real question is: Will she be our newest sicko emoji?
I'm a fitness nazi.... fitness nazi straight into the mine shaft 
I'm always shouting "grunt" when I play ball
im a little fly chewing me some yummy kales
hare-brained wife checking in
wheeeeeeeeeee, time to prank my husband with activities we'll both hate!
I swear he's doing it just for our emote library at this rate. 
No actual pickles
I played pickleball for the first time last week.
I do not see the appeal over tennis.
The court is smaller and the ball moves slower: more fun if you're not good at tennis
It's centrism between table tennis and tennis
It's less running and more focus on hitting the ball
Still worse than table tennis and badminton tho
Table Tennis is sick
(no actual pickles)
Who knew the Sicko was such an athlete?
Another day another banger
(fitness nazi)
No that's the best part, fitness nazis and former first ladies.
He used Michelle Obama for the picture but he's saying it's a defining trait among former first ladies.
"michelle obama's hairy forearms"
I think in this case it's just shading for dark skin.
Kale is good, but as always fitness nuts and food fad people find ways to not only force it on people, but prepare it the worst ways possible. Also got a little bitterness towards kale, since I grew Russian kale at one point, and it took off like a weed for years onwards. I grew tired of it, but the kale fad wasn't a thing at the time, so it was just me eating kale as an attempt of a more utilitarian form of weeding.
This one isn't even satirical, it's the truth