urbanism

Wait until you learn about emotional support trucks:

• Tires: mud knobs with shiny untouched rims
• Body: lifted and oversized
• Headlamps: blinding LEDs at eye level
• Safety: invisible pedestrians
• Bed: pristine
• Economy: gallons to the mile
• Your ass: ridden

Topped off with muddy, fart machine sounds coming from their distorted overdriven bass. They spend the whole drive giggling. I'm not sure if it's from the toddler sense of humor at the fart noises or the plausible deniability when running over a cyclist.

Even worse is driving one of those fuck off expensive luxury cars. Like whenever I see a lambo or some shit on the highway I legitimately feel embarrassed for the driver. The bright coloring and distinctive shape makes them literally look like oversized children's toys. They practically scream to everyone else on the road "hey look at me! look how rich I am!". It's a shame rich people have all the fucking money in the world, they are shit at spending it.

Oh, you wanna stop? Kick the peddle! That’s right, kick, kick, kick! Great job!

me, yelling vroom vroom when i merge into freeway traffic

The most overbuilt baby strollers in the world.

BUT YOU CAN HAVE A BAZINGA YOKE INSTEAD AND SPIN IT AROUND REALLY AWKWARDLY BECAUSE KING BAZINGA THOUGHT IT WOULD LOOK EPIC