NFL

They got Highlight Hell to make this intro.

I'm ready to be whelmed

An old man goes to the doctor. He says “doctor, I’m miserable. I’m in a dead end job that is sapping away my will to live, my body can barely keep up with its demands, and I’m watching what is basically torture.”

Doc says “what you need is some perspective! Today is Thursday, you should watch Thursday night football, they’ve got two garbage teams playing and Al Michaels has to comment on them for nearly three hours! Watch that and then you may be able to put your own job in perspective and find some happiness.

The man starts breaking down sobbing as he says, “But doc, I AM Al Michaels!”

I didn't even know the Bears had a QB.

This game is really a match up of a resistible force vs a moveable object lmao 🤣

we just had a guy try to pump up the crowd at an away game

The bears call plays the same way i do in madden, 1 yard predictable run up the middle. Then try to bomb it down the field on 2nd and 3rd and long. I reckon a 10 year old kid could call plays better

#LETS LIGHT THIS CRAP CANDLE

Gotta be one of the best anthems I’ve heard

So many empty seats for a primetime game that the Bears are favored in.

Al Michaels might actually fall asleep mid-broadcast tonight.

Well my fellow perverts, are we ready to watch this "football game"?

That ladies eyelashes are going to fly away at some point

If this isn't 3 hours of al michaels throwing shade at bad play i will be disappointed

They would have had this game overseas but there were some concerns it would start an international incident

Fittin' to see the first 4-1 game in NFL history right here .

Adam Thelien talking about TNF like Roger Godell has a gun to his back

Bears don’t know what to do with QBs

ONE INTERESTING DUDE

I am prepared to shitpost in here while we all enjoy this rollercoaster

If the Panthers win this game I'll give Frank Reich a big ol kiss between the cheeks

Randy Marsh is killing it!

It seems like that guy was just vibing while Amazon was trying to make it a somber thing lmao

As a pr stunt, they gave a vet tickets to watch the two worst teams in the NFL..

For the next PR stunt, they'll beat the shit out of a kid with cancer.

Jk of course this game will be a banger.

Well I'm already depressed so let's see where we go next

2-0 in OT to the panthers for maximum pain

Remember when Mike Singletary took his pants off at halftime as a coach to show how embarrassing them losing felt? lmaooo

Hey Montez lemme hit you up I need some good massage therapy- Deshaun

I don’t know why I’m here. I’m not going to subject myself to this shit.

Ah who am I kidding…I’ll consume football if it came from a NYC taxi’s floor mat.

Jason Kelce will be an AMAZING analyst when he finally becomes available.

Bidding War incoming.

Jason Kelce seems like a down to earth dude. He seems like he could be a great analyst

Uuuuh I know I’m not only one that noticed the awkwardness of charrissa at the end there

Hawks on one screen, Bears'll be on the other. Only thing that could make tonight better is a bottle of Malört.

“Thank you for all you did for this country.”

I’m sure dude getting his limbs blown off in an illegal war made the Constitution more secure or something.

Bagent completes a 45 second come back and throws for 471 yards, 6TDs

“Thank you for everything you’ve gave to this country” “no problem I’m just missing half of my body” really sad stuff if you ask me.

I will be watching this game tonight despite overwhelming evidence that it will suck big ol balls because I like sports and I don’t care who knows.

Gonna be sick when the bears trade Montez Sweat to the Raiders in 2 years.

DJ Moore revenge came incoming

Even if this game is exciting Al Michaels will be half asleep announcing it like we're watching an Iowa Nebraska game

My relationship with cigarettes is how I feel about football this year. It's gross, I always think I'll enjoy it but never do, and can't stop doing it.

Battle of mid

Gross, discussing a parlay during pre-game.

Well they all picked the Bears to win so guess they'll win then

Christ that was lame

I got to hear Fitzmagic tell Kelce that he wouldn’t touch his grundle, so at least something great came out of tonight

it's great to see the military finally get some recognition at a football game

I don't believe the o/u at 38....

Our best hope to win is if the Bears don't score but the Panthers do score

Cam was better