this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] Jmdatcs@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

They went through all that trouble and didn't get taxidermied bear claws or something else to approximate what the damage would look like. They used some sort of kitchen tool or something and all the "claw marks" are equally spaced and start and stop at the same place.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 5 points 3 hours ago

Fucking hilarious!

First of all, I want to be there when they review the video:

"Hey Barry, I got the video of the bear attack!"

"Oh, cool, I really wanted to see that, pull it up."

"Check it out..."

"Dude..."

"Bruh..."

"Is that a guy in a bear suit?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. It definitely is."

"Listen, we can't make this determination ourselves, we're going to have to get an expert."

"Seriously?"

"Look, if this goes to court, the other side is going to say it's a real bear, and we don't have the legal qualifications to make the determination that it's not."

"Well, it's obvious, but okay, so what do we do?"

"I think we have to show this video to Fish & Game, and get their expert opinion on the record."

"ROAD TRIP!"

An investigation into the claim - dubbed "Operation Bear Claw" - took a closer look at the video and found the "bear" was actually a person in a bear costume, the insurance department said. Investigators then took the video to biologists with the California Department of Fish and Wildlife to also look at the video. The biologists said, "it was clearly a human in a bear suit."

🤣

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 4 hours ago

Sounds like they forgot to implement 320x240 shaky cam "Bigfoot" mode on the video...

[–] Hegar@fedia.io 22 points 14 hours ago

Fraudsters with a bad bear suit and a dream deserve that money so much more than insurance companies.

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 22 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

All I can think of is Super Troopers.

"Sir, are you.......OK?!"

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 8 points 13 hours ago

"BEARFUCKER! Do you need assistance?!"