this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2026
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Feminine Chastity question (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by Nissa@lemmy.world to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
NSFW 14 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Sooooooo super awkward questions warming

I just started using a feminine chastity cage to keep the "Lady bits" out from between my legs and to diminish the bulge. I got it on comfortably last night for the first time, I was struggling to not be erect the first couple of times, and then again this morning. So the curiosity kink is gone which is great. So I love the look and feel and the not having stuff getting in the way down there, but I've run into two issues that I was wondering if anyone else has had

First off, I'm precumming constantly. Like i was already wearing a low flow pad in my panties for that reason, but that was getting better. So I assume with time I'll get used to it and it will stop?

B: my skin is like eating the cage. I have one of the really small ones that just smashes the head of my penis as far back as it will go. It's more comfortable than it sounds. But the extra skin that leaves behind slowly creeps over the front of my cage. Like I went to put my pad in and I could barely see the pink and there was just a pool of precum in there. Obvi cleaned it up and pulled the skin back but is this a bad thing? Am I going to hurt myself? It's not uncomfortable, outside of the getting used to it part.

Sorry, didn't know who to ask since the feminine chastity group appears dead, and honestly they're just thirsty for pics and I'm not down for that.

Thanks for the continued love and support.

♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡

Edit: Spelling (I suck at spelling, and my secretary/wife is not currently reading over my shoulder)

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[–] WillowWisp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Hey! So I've had experience of the kind of "precum overflow" you're talking about since starting HRT, and for me the solution was just tucking using a gaff. Gaffs are generally quite comfortable for all day wear, and the ones I use are shaped generously enough so as not to necessitate having the testes locked into the inguinal canals, which can be uncomfortable over longer periods of time.

The method of tucking with a gaff generally involves simply smoothing/flattening the genitals against the taint then holding them in place with a soft cotton surface, so minimal pressure is put against the glans itself, which takes care of the problem your chastity cage is causing by exerting constant pressure against your glans.

I'd highly recommend giving gaff tucking a try and see how it works for you for daily use, and saving the cage for more... exciting situations, where the fluid leakage would be something positive instead of an umcomfortable inconvenience :)

[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 hours ago

A few notes to add about tucking and using a gaff: You shouldn’t tuck for more than 8 hours. More than 4 hours is already a UTI risk, 8 is much higher. Tucking also stops the testes from their natural temperature regulation and can overheat them if done for long periods, potentially affecting fertility.

[–] Nissa@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

I will definitely look into it. It's always better to have options. Thanks for the advice!

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (2 children)

I have been using KT tape to keep the girls tucked away and keep everything smooth. Whenever I do get an incident, the tape keeps everything from shifting too much, but if I'm out walking around and it happens I will have to stop or the movement could push things in a direction I don't want to go....

I have looked into different cages but I really like having a super smooth panty line and none of the cages seem like they'll work with my anatomy and give me the smooth feeling I want.

TMI warning:

I have a "grower" so she's usually around 3-5cm depending on temperature (more like 1-2 if it's early in the swimming season and I'm in the pool) and when things happen she gets to about 10-13cm. The twins tuck up or fall down depending on temperature. Also since I'm a little hefty (170cm/100kg) things are already a little crowded.

So because of the way I am shaped, it either would fall off, the fat around it would make it not sit right, or it just wouldn't give me the ability to wear my leggings.

I would LOVE to find one that makes me flat enough to wear my leggings and still stay on.

Also I'm glad you have a supportive partner in this aspect, my own partner thinks that's pushing too far into "it's a fetish" territory and I can't seem to make her understand what looking down and seeing something I feel shouldn't be there does to me. Yes, to some chastity might be a fetish, but for me it's a means to control my own flesh just a little better. They know I prefer to be smooth, but they don't seem to connect how visibly having a bulge makes me uncomfortable. The tape is probably their line for now, but it takes awhile go put on and make sure it's comfortable. This week is the first week I've been able to wear it all day while walking and sitting.

I have seen some people put a small cotton makeup pad looking thing in the head of their cage, as a way to make it more comfortable to wear. Maybe that might help, but it might also make things worse for you with the extra rubbing.

I'm having a hard time working out where the "puddle" you mentioned would be, but perhaps wearing a pair of panties the next size down would help?

Idk dear I'm sorry I can't be of more help 🙁

I hate having to tip-toe around chaser spaces especially when I'm still new to trying to be part of communities and still unsure where they all are, and sadly any kind of talk like this is bound to draw them in.

I'm glad you're finding something that works well for you though! You go girl! 😘

(ps where did you get your cage?)

And please please please feel free not to answer:

A simple yes or no will do if you aren't comfortable talking about it, ut are you at all similar to myself down there, based on my above TMI spoiler? I just would like to hear from someone similar in type/size to me when dealing with such things

for awhile I've been lamenting that nobody has gone through the trouble of making a database for trans women to input clothing sizes they find comfortable and their measurements. I would love to be able to find clothing without having to trial and error everything and a 5ft9 220lb trans woman isn't exactly common around these parts...

[–] brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

I really want to start making resources here. It seems there not alot unfortunately, especially none gather all in one place. I might be making a google drive and a few docs and spreadsheets in my near future. I can already see it being my next hyperfocus.

Goodbye FO4 modding, hello trans resource guides! I do need something new to burn myself out on ❤️

[–] tama@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Please consider distancing from google for trans content 😅

[–] brookedSmile@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I mean ideally sure, but im at a loss. Any suggestions for a service that would let me host potentially several files, would allow collaborative edits from the community and is a service that most will already have? Because other than google i dont really have any ideas

Edit: reading my own comment i sound like an asshole. I swear im not being sarcastic or anything else with this comment. Im genuinely wondering and im bad with words sometimes. Sorry if i come off as such

[–] tama@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 17 minutes ago

Despite being a more recent adopter of proton for mail myself, they also have essentially a replacement suite for Google, there’s a proton drive. Admittedly, I don’t have experience with it as I’ve not for collaboration and have been migrating more and more away from clouds.

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 20 hours ago

Well certainly keep us updated! I don't know how I could help, but by all means let me know, this would be helpful for a lot of people!

[–] Nissa@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sorry your partner isn't super on board, I consider myself super lucky. She's definitely confused but wants me to be me, happy and free. I really try and explain everything to her and I know its alot but she's doing her best. This is what I have:

https://lockthecock.com/products/pink-plastic-cock-cage-1

Also a chastity belt thay helps hold it high and tight really helps.

I'm not quite your size. 6'1" 185lbs but definitely more of a grower for sure. Going from like 2" to 6 or 7"? I don't really measure it. It would be awesome to have a data base like that. I got a special body tape measure that's been helping figure out my sizes but as all women lament there are vast inconsistencies in sizing.

I hope that helps, thanks for you input!

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 21 hours ago

My partner (newly discovered NB and fem-presenting ) IS super supportive, they've been helping me with outfits and things. It's just this one spot (and my voice, but I totally understand why they don't want me to use a different voice around them) that seems to be a bit of a blurry area of understanding.

I have tried sending them a few articles (like the gender dysphoria am I trans article) to help better explain why I "wasn't like this before" although they've never said anything like that my own self-doubt wants to explain to her why I was supposedly a man for the last 6 years we've known each other. (we've broached the topic before but they were more conservative when we first met and got super awkward so I didn't bring it up again until long after I dragged them to the left and we started hanging out with the LGBT group in town)

Lmao I haven't measured since high school honestly I'm just guessing, but if your guess is as good as mine then I see no reason beyond my extra fat it shouldn't work...

Maybe we could try to get mods to start a pinned post or something? No need for names or usernames to be attached to anything, just a listing of measurements and clothes that fit.

I used to work retail at a sporting goods store and holy shit the variation within brands is insane. Take footwear, specifically Nike. Last I knew, they had 3 different factories for making shoes. You would think they would send out standardized sising forms so all 3 produce the exact same size. Based on conversations with company personnel,, each factory was responsible for its own forms. And they were a few mm off for each different one. A few millimeters makes a big difference when you're layering things up and squeezing a foot into it. A 6mm offset is enough to trip people on stairs. And based on videos I've seen of a lot of clothing manufacturers, they cut so much fabric at once the size flares outward at the bottom of the stack, and will create different sizing. We had a store brand that was fully a size off from underarmor. And that was men's clothes. Women's were basically a gamble if you didn't use the fitting room before you leave.

Thanks for the info! Have a fantastic day 😊

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

we do not use any chastity devices, but in the past when wearing clothing that has been tighter around the crotch—and especially nylon or spandex clothing!—we have experienced something similar with pre-ejaculate fluid, especially since starting HRT. for us, the compression on the glans penis, peritoneal area, etc. makes it so that when the penis shifts around (or the clothing does), even though it's only a very small movement it is perceived with much greater intensity.

the way we dealt with this was to either wear stuff made of cotton underneath, or to tuck in a way where not much pressure is being put on the glans itself. the type of chastity cage you have does, well, exactly what that second point mentions, but perhaps you could sew a layer of softer fabric over the device, perhaps with something like loose cotton to cushion it underneath. the caveat is that this can soak up fluids far more readily. but it may help!

bit of a tangent about some stuff that is semi-related, but not exactly pertinent

as unusual as it may sound, the feminine penis is very much a real thing. this is especially pertinent with those undergoing hormone therapy, but the physiological behavior of the genitalia is still absolutely linked to state of mind. you're likely aware, but some studies look to have demonstrated that the brain behavior of a transgender subject does differ from that of a cis subject of the same assigned sexual characteristics at birth, to a notable extent. so you'll likely do some experimenting!

while primarily intended as a way for trans women to evade dysphoria when partaking in sexual pleasure, the zine Fucking Trans Women has some explanations and advice that has helped us accept our own body so much more. it is certainly not for all of course, however!

remember, having a penis doesn't define you as male forthright, not even physiologically.

you'll figure out your own ways, so hang in there. here are our best wishes for the future!! xox

[–] erin@quokk.au 2 points 9 hours ago

same

[–] Nissa@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Thanks this is really helpful! It's alot of information to take in but I feel like I have a better understanding of my body. I really appreciate it!