Did anyone check under Trump's desk?
this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2026
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That's not MIA, that's AWOL.
Yeah for him to be MIA he’d have had to have actually been in the process of doing something
Yeah no one misses him.
Yeah im disappointed. I thought he was presumed dead.
Arseholed, Wankered, Obliterated Lush.
It started with an incident that occurred on April 10 when the FBI chief panicked after he struggled to log into an internal computer system. He behaved frantically and began calling aides to announce that he had been fired by the White House.
Two people familiar with the matter described to The Atlantic that his behaviour was a “freak out.”
The reports also alleged that a SWAT team had to once ask for breaching gear after Patel was uncontactable behind a locked door.
That's not alcoholism, he's coked to the fucking gills...
It's really common these days with heavy drinkers, because it lets you drink longer. Eventually you crash and nothing can wake you up unless someone shoves a bump up your nose.
Then you're up and running for a couple more days doing crazy shit.
The staying awake for days is why meth heads are so crazy, but you can do the same on coke if you have a key to the evidence locker....
Shits gonna keep getting crazier too.
Yep. I've known a bunch of coke heads. I used to be a coke head. Patel is obviously a coke head.
Kesh Patel has that coked out look.
In a functioning democracy a reporter would've asked Trump by now why he keeps hiring absolute fuck ups.
Well he made sure it's not functional by filling every single to position to people that are completely incapable of being more evolved than a sophomore frat boy.
All we hear are stories of them getting drunk as hell, totally fucking up their job, and now disappearing.
I would make a much better FBI director. Even the idiot magats that get interviewed by TYT would be.
The photo that gets constantly mocked of him is entirely accurate to his level of intelligence. There is no deeper awareness than "shlorp daddy's mushroom". None at all.
When he finally dies I hope it's absolutely humiliating and painful. And that photo better be at his almost empty funeral.
This is sad because I just earned my Kash Patel sobriety chip
The punisher, notorious cop lover
Oh my lord. It's the tackiest shit I've ever seen. I can't believe this manchild has this as his challenge coin. It's the stuff of 12-year-olds.
Even though this is getting reported by numerous publications, apparently Kash Patel and his external advisors are threatening a lawsuit against The Atlantic over this.
I'm looking forward to the Atlantic proving, in a court of law, that Kash Patel is a drunken fraud.
He’s welcome to show up in court, in person, to prove the article to be in incorrect
So, Josh Johnson is right. Patel is the next one fired.
It’s crazy how much more spot on some of our comedians are than the official journalists.
What we need is more comedians in office.
Zelensky. Franken. There are worse ideas. You have to have a brain and be able to read people to be a good comedian.
I thought I wanted Jon Stewart once but baby we’re well beyond the point of being that gentle about things.
Al Frankin was great in office. I used to love watching him ask questions
Hoping he dies in a ditch somewhere.
Patel has publicly proclaimed that the FBI needs to demonstrate that it is “fierce,” and officials I spoke with said that he is fixated on that image in private as well. He recently expressed frustration with the look of FBI merchandise, complaining that it isn’t intimidating enough.
Our superiors.
Why would he be so worried about being fired? He was a podcaster before, he can be a podcaster again but this time he'll (unfortionately) have the added clout of having been the FBI Director.
you know trump probably made them all sign NDAs that probably include federal prison for violations (i.e., saying anything about anything, ever), because "national security"
Probably but the don't need to disclose anything. Even if fired, he has credibility as the former Director.
I know what you are getting at but it certainly generated some feeling reading “he has credibility…”
I hurt to write too but it doesn't make it untrue to as least the people who would willingly listen to his podcast.
Wafel house.
Did he "teleport" there?
The rest of the FBI are having a good day probably. Like when the substitute teacher stops paying attention.
Maybe he woke up with a forehead tattoo under a pet tiger without a front tooth?