The old pope died of cringe when he met Vance so I'd consider this a threat.
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2026
799 points (99.3% liked)
Not The Onion
21253 readers
1751 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Oh yes, world renowned theologian James David Vance foremost expert on theol...wait theology is when you fuck couches right?
i thought his name was jance dance vance
What's wrong Jance Dance? You barely janked the jouch?
load more comments
(9 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Isn't the Pope supposed to be the guy for Catholics, appointed to directly hear God's voice on Earth, and spread it to the masses? And if that's the case, aren't all these faux-Christians disagreeing with him - like Vance - disagreeing with the very God they purport to worship?
Catholics can disagree with the pope on secular matters, the problem here is that the pope is quoting the catechism almost verbatim, and convert-boy is throwing a tantrum because he joined the church based on aesthetics and not any kind of conviction.
A bunch of Protestants think the Pope is the Antichrist, but apparently Vance identifies as Catholic, so yeah, he's defying God. Catholic doctrine also holds that the Pope is infallible when ruling on theology.
load more comments
(4 replies)
The man converted to catholicism then within a few years was beefing with two popes in a row on basic catholicism.
load more comments
(3 replies)
load more comments
(8 replies)
I am an agnostic myself, but one thing I can say for sure, that every time one wants me to say that their religion/beliefs are supreme, the more willing I am to ~~convert~~ switch to atheism. Also all organized religions are bullshit.
I'm a theist agnostic. I believe in some sort of higher power, whether an individual, multiple, or even just spiritual energy. I firmly believe that organized religion as a whole is bad for humans. It removes the ability to question and think critically of things. You're supposed to believe this. You're taught to believe that. You're not choosing to believe in something, you're being told to.
load more comments
(3 replies)
What's he gonna do? Fuck the popes couch?
The Vatican should be taking threat very seriously. He did kill the last Pope
If you're not a Catholic, you might not understand how fucked up it is for Vance to stand there and call the Pope wrong about theology.
By definition, the Pope is right about religion. If he changes his mind tomorrow, he was right then and he is right now.
The equivalent would be if I became a Buddhist and then told the current Dalai Lama he was doing it wrong. Or maybe if I became a Hindu and then insisted that, actually, cheeseburgers are fuckin' awesome.
No joke, Vance is like two more dumbass statements away from being excommunicated.
Arguably, there would be decent historic precedent for excommunicating Vance RIGHT NOW.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
The utter fucking nerve of these assholes.
I'm not even a christian anymore, Catholic or otherwise. In fact I've long since gone full on athiest.
But even I'M offended by this new level of horseshit by the Trump clown-show.
load more comments
(3 replies)
JD literally woke up one morning and decided to debate theology with the fucking Vicar of Christ.
INNNNN THIS CORNER, wearing all white and a skull cap, he's the Vicar of Christ, the Bishop of Rome, the SUCCESSOR to the Price of the Apostles, iiiiiiiIIIITS POPE LEO THE FOURTEENTH!!
And in THIS CORNER, wearing a tailored suit and red tie, Couch fucker, white trash cosplayer and world's worst negotiator, John Dilbert Vaaaaaaance!
load more comments
(4 replies)
load more comments
(4 replies)
Look, they already decided they knew science better than scientists, they knew war better than military generals, they knew economy better than economists.
Why did aynone think they would stop at theology?
load more comments
(2 replies)
When Vance tells a Pope to be careful, that Pope should be careful. You know, considering Vance's established track record with Popes...
load more comments
(11 replies)
Did they forget to give him the brochure when he converted to Catholicism?
load more comments
(1 replies)
I've killed a pope before and I'll do it again! - J.D 'Couch Fucker' Vance
Look. I'm an apatheist. I don't really care. It's one kind of BS or another to me.
But on one hand, you have a someone who has decades of experience and study in the traditions, text, and history of their religion, and on the other hand, you have an asshole who fucked a couch and is a useful puppet for Peter Thiel and a bunch of other billionaire sociopath fucksticks.
Pretty easy to figure out who I'd respectfully disagree with and who I'd just call a goddamned idiot.
It's a threat. I don't know what he's threatening, hell Vance might not even know what he's threatening. But that's just how this administration operates: threats, demands and bribes.
It is a bit like saying a professor of mathematics with 10+ years of experience in teaching calculus should be careful when talking about calculus.
... from a guy who just heard about calculus for the first time
load more comments
(4 replies)
MAGA has come to the Catholic Church, and we've all seen what happens when MAGA comes to town. If he's smart, the Pope should excommunicate him immediately, and threaten every other MAGA with the same if they don't straighten up.
One of the requirements for being a fascist is being stupid. Vance is no exception to that rule.
Of the 50 people in that audience, half were shocked by what he said. The other half were trying to remember the lyrics to the Baby Shark song.
Shut up, Vance.
I still find it so fucking funny that this nimrod was the best candidate trumps campaign could find.
Paid for by Peter Thiel.
load more comments
(5 replies)
Beefing with the pope should definitely have been on my bingo card for this administration, I feel stupid for not seeing it coming now.
That's like lecturing Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking in physics lol
Vance needs to be careful when fucking the sofa. There are zippers on those cushions.
Be careful indeed!
Couch Fucker vs The Word of God. I'm not a religious man, but I know who I'd believe.
as a catholic, vance should probably be careful talking shit about the pope.
you know, the literal hand of god on earth, the holy see, the Supreme Pontiff, the very man who could order Vance's excommunication after a thorough auto de fe?
he's so fucking dumb, join a worldwide club then whine piss and moan about it's leader....
The Pope is WRONG and THEREFORE the Bible NEEDS to be Law!
-Republicans!
view more: next ›