I work at a law firm, and am surrounded by law librarians, and yes, you do not want to tangle with them for any reason.
this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2026
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Jealous. My library fines aren't outstanding, they're just average.
You could even say that they are just fine
Meanwhile, in libraries: "I'm being laid off? WHY? No budget for so many staff? But I'm only part time, I don't even get health insurance... PLEASE, I'll lose my house!"
lol, good job, OP - really stuck it to the man!
Using your free library card to rent free things and returning them without paying a late fee isn't going to get anyone laid off or any library closed.
True.
And it's not like those fees don't cap before they hit a point where they'd be meaningful in that way.
Also not a good idea to piss off librarians though.
I’m pretty sure they don’t rely on fines to operate.
It’s all fun and games until a W40K librarian turns up
For those unfamiliar with:
I only have more questions now than before seeing this image...
I can pulp your flesh and snap your bones in less than a second and without so much as lifting a finger. What is the power of technology compared to that?
VEL'CONA, CHIEF LIBRARIAN OF THE SALAMANDERS
I hope that clears things up for you.
I have more questions.
A Librarian is a Firstborn or Primaris Marine combat psyker of the Space Marines who survives an Adeptus Astartes Chapter's rigorous screening and training to bend the powers of the Warp to their will for the benefit of their fellow battle-brothers and in service to the Emperor of Mankind. Beyond their psychic duties, the Librarians of the Astartes are also expected to record the great deeds of their Chapter and maintain the Chapter's storehouse of ancient lore, the functions for which they are named.
Hope that helps.
That helps a lot.
The Lemma on librarians is suprisingly diverse and dense on lore.
Most systems are fine free now. What are you on about? Librarians don't have time for your nonsense.
My local library system went fine-free around 2020, reintroduced some fines around 2023ish and now they're somewhere between fine-free and not? I'm honestly confused and also I so rarely incur fines that I've not been able to fully figure out the current fine structure
Mine has fined but they excuse them every time if you bring things back so it's basically fine free although on paper its not.
Seattle is and they'll let you use their excellent online services all over the country to counteract the far right nutjobs:
https://www.spl.org/using-the-library/manage-your-account/no-late-fines
If items are one month overdue, we will bill you for the replacement cost.
I mean... I get it, but that sounds like a fine to me.
I guess I was remembering them zeroing out everyone's fines before switching to this system.
Nice. And anyway, no shade whatsoever to libraries, they deserve every penny they get. Absolutely fair to pay for replacements in my book.
That's good. Here they will just reclaim the money you own them for the book after a while and that will get annoying and expensive.
Are they really? How does that work if someone returns books way late or never? Is there a point that they get charged the full amount?
Fine free if you return the materials. Otherwise, you’re blocked from checking out materials if you hit a certain amount ($10+ usually, depends on the library). There is a likely chance that they’ll work with you to reduce it and Unless you owe hundreds of dollars, you’re probably getting your account deleted in ~5 years so that’s also a sort of forgiveness.
I have cards in 3 library systems. They all work this way:
Each system requires a yearly card renewal, you have to physically go into a branch to renew, although they do have accommodations for disabilities and stuff. If you have not returned a book or have way overdue books, you will be unable to renew your card unless you return the overdue ones. The only fees I have are if I were to lose a book and it needs to be replaced.
Steven King has a short story called The Library Policemen. You should use this as a reference.
What is this format? I can't tell who is responding to whom.
The white region in the middle looks like it was put there as a screen shot by the person who wrote the bounty hunter part, but then it looks like it is also supposed to be responding to that part, but there are no details on the bottom part about which accounts are talking or when.
I guess it's all just one person's joke presented as if it's a conversation. But why not put in minimal effort to make it look the tiniest bit real?
I'm guessing whoever took the screenshot cropped out the part where the OP reblogged their own post to add the screenshot of the reply they got.
Edit:
Ook.
OOK!
Welcome to Nightvale (podcast) has a plot point like this. "The Librarians" are spoken of like they're some sort of horrible creature that hunt down anyone who comes in, and most people never come back out.
Well if the librarians have a secret cabal of assassins at their service, now would be as good a time as any to get them to work on you-know-who.