this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2023
50 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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50
Guys the news said that secret half chinese/half hamas super solders have been released by russia and cuba to steal your butt cells for cloning I'm super scared (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
6 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

What if they steal my butt cells and make a clone of me and the clone says America isn't perfect I don't think I could handle that

I locked all my doors but I heard they can flatten themselves and slide under the door crack im shaking right now

they might have a havana syndrome gun and It might give me a headache oh fuck

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[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

bottom-speak xi-plz my ass with your panting Chinese-Arab hunk of super soilders.

I am willing and of service im-doing-my-part

[–] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

Neither Havana syndrome nor Hamas can strike so long as you are facing an American flag with your hand on your heart and reciting the pledge of allegiance. Do not wear a hat, do NOT sleep. God speed and good luck soldier

[–] joaomarrom@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

phew, good thing I'm 乇乂丅尺卂 丅卄工匚匚 and have butt cells to spare

[–] Mehrunes_Laser@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

bird-screm-2

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Han-ass supersoldiers
speech-r kelly

[–] EnsignRedshirt@hexbear.net 3 points 2 years ago

The only thing worse than having your butt cells stolen to make a clone would be not having them stolen because you didn’t make the cut 😕