When i put on concealer this morning, my first thought was going for the rings underneath my eyes, and only after that did i care about looking for beard shadow and covering it up. Laser hair removal has brought me such a long way, it's honestly amazing to see how things are finally coming together. I mean, i still worry a lot about my appearance, it's just the way things are in a society that always judges femme presenting people by their looks, but outside of the bottom stuff i don't think i'm actually dysphoric anymore? When i look back at where i was two years ago, where i am now, where i will be in two more years, it's just a goddamn miracle.

I remember shaving my body and absolutely loving it well before I figured out I was trans. I wondered to myself why I never did it before. I then proceeded to not do it again for years because of gender expectations. I always felt like it was expected of me to be hairy or have a huge beard or whatever. The prospect of shaving was scary because of that. I didn't want to be singled out due to societal norms. So I didn't do it again for probably 5 or 6 years.

Then COVID happened and I could do it without worry. Because of it, I was able to experiment with all these thoughts I had throughout my life and just express myself the way I always wanted to. And then I realized how much I liked it. And now I am here as I am and I couldn't be happier.

Body and especially facial hair are like my largest sources of dysphoria. I hate it so much, looking in the mirror and seeing a mustache shadow no matter how hard I try to get rid of it makes me want to fucking die. I just want to be able to look at myself and be happy for once.

Just remember that you’re your own biggest critic! You notice a lot about yourself that most people won’t - they’re busy going about their lives.

If you live with a dog you won’t notice them age because the amount of change per day is so small. If your friend visits every couple of months, you’ll hear “my goodness look how big you’ve gotten!”

You have been present for all your changes so they’re harder to notice. I have to remind my SO of this regularly. 💜

A little bit of stubble in an area is harder to notice than you might think. My SO freaks if she forgets to shave her legs and meanwhile I’m just excited to rub them… 🤤🤣

Even if she forgets her face, I can’t tell unless I touch and she’s convinced she looks like porcupine lady. 🦔

my vibe is that the last wedding i went to i had both the longest hair and the largest beard in the wedding party. (i trust that i don't care about my gender)

Disco Elysium has taught me that shaving is not always a good decision.