I have never seen this... is this some american thing?
this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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If the only free time you get between sleep, food, chores and work is these little moments of peace, you learn to cherish them.
Between that and the car dependence of the US, it wouldnt surprise me if it was semi specific. When most people would zone out on a train or whatever for their commute, americans spend theirs locked in on the drive.
I often wondered about this behavior. Every so often I would see someone go to their car in a parking lot, sit down in the driver's seat and just... go nowhere. Engine is running, music is on, driver has a 1000-yard stare. It's so far removed from my own experience - I never do this - that for the longest time, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Somehow, the phrase 'after a long day' made it click. So thanks, OP.
Apartment living also showed me that some people just hang out alone in the car instead of in the apartment. That I can understand as some units can be downright claustrophobic if you have a big family. Want privacy? Get a car payment I guess. :(
I've found myself sitting alone in my car in an abandoned parking lot just listening to some music and wondering what I'm doing with my life. The strange thing is that, by all objective measures, I have a really good life. I have an SO that I love more than anything in the world, and which is fantastic to me, I have parents and siblings that I have great relationships to, I have a job that I really enjoy, and I have good friends. Despite all that, I sometimes get this need to just "disappear" for a little while and isolate myself while listening to sad music. I don't really enjoy it either, it's more like some kind of cathartic feeling, like theres some kind of sadness in me that occasionally just wells up and needs to be given some space. It's quite rare (maybe once a year or something on that order), but it does happen. It's actually really nice to see that this is something relatable - I've never really spoken to anybody about it.
Can I join you? Would that be okay? I'll just sit down here in the passenger seat, and relax a bit. Whatcha watchin' there?
Porn. And I was trying to masturbate in peace. And could you please get out of my car?
You can continue. I will be quiet and watch my podcast. I need to catch up on my educational podcasts with Michael Stevens & Hannah Fry.
But he just wants to help out.
Am I being the asshole here? Maybe I'm being unfair.
Put the phone up on the dash. I do you, you do me. It doesn't need to be weird. Don't make it weird. Shhhh.
I wait for a good moment to stop my audiobook
Sitting in silence. Deciding if I go inside or just keep driving until I run out of gas and never come back.
Wouldn't we be better off alone? Nobody at home to give us shit. Just do whatever you feel like.
It only takes me a few minutes to drive home from my office. Its good to just take a breath
I could drive <5min to work or walk <20min. I chose walking for equal parts exercise and time alone in my thoughts.
Simmering in liminality (farting around)
I'll come in after this song, I just got to the chorus
🎶 Ooooooh now I hope that you're happy
🎶 I hear you somewhere in the sa-a-and
🎶 And how I wish I was an ocean, maybe theeeeen (maybe theeeeeeeen)
🎶 I'd get to see you again