Ask Lemmy

I'm not into penis, personally. That caveat outta the way: I've had nothing but good to downright incredible relationships with non-binary people. Stable? fuck no (neither was I at the time) but incredible. 10/10 would try again. With someone less crazy than I am next time.

I've gone on dates with non-binary people, but usually they have off-putting personalities and beliefs or were quite rude and weird.

I get matches from them on dating apps too, but again, usually they are very hostile/angry or have other off-putting life-style stuff, like being poly, so I just don't bother engaging.

I'd have no issue being in a relationship with a person, if they didn't have the baggage or weird off-putting beliefs that seem to come with being non-binary. Especially the 'edgelord' personality nonsense that seems to be really common among queer/non-binary people. I have met queer folks who weren't like that, but only in a non-romantic context, in romantic context the ones i attract are very much the teenage edgelords.

In all honesty I don't think I could handle it and I'd become toxic in some way eventually just because I probably couldn't ever understand my partner to a level where I could consider them my partner.

... If that makes any damn sense

Probably not, because I'm generally not attracted to biological males as they usually don't have the physical attributes I find attractive. Sure, feminine attributes can be achieved through surgery, drugs and makeup, but I'd prefer a natural woman and since there is that choice, that's what I'd prefer.

Before you get upset, know that this is my honest opinion. I'll respect you however you identify and will happily hang out with anyone. And I'm sure i'd find some non-binary folk physically attractive, but as I have a choice and I'm a cis hetro then that's my answer.

Depends if they have a pussy. In general most non-binary people I've met haven't been particularly androgynous. Which is one of the reasons they confuse me.

But yeah if they've got the body type I enjoy and a good personality then sure. No way I could make a universal statement though.

I'll date anything that's not male. except turtles. turtles suck.

Honestly you kinda gotta remind me what non binary means. Does it mean they have no preference in sexual partner or that they don't view themselves as either of the sexes or something else?

Yes. I do have a thing for vaginas though, so that’s probably gonna be pretty important.

Once one accepts that non-binary (NB?) people have the same humanity as any other person, a potential partner's AGAB matters less. That's my experience, anyway.

I'm demisexual, attracted to stereotypically feminine or androgynous bodies, and I've seen a number of very cute, penis-bearing women. If I had an emotional connection with a NB person or transwoman with the aforementioned body type, I think it’d be fun and exciting to see if we click romantically/sexually.

Well of course, its kind of nobrainer? If you like someone and want to be with them and they like you and want to be with you, that is that.

I like to think that i don't really care what labels are in place as long as we're compatible in the myriad of relevant departments.
However, my thought remains largely untested*

*Technically i have briefly dated a person who fluctuated between woman and NB, but idk if i count it for reasons that are my own.

Probably not, just because I don’t think I can really relate to that identity. If I’m being honest, I just don’t really understand it. It seems more like a cultural phenomenon to me than a real identity that is based on some biological reality, even if just in the brain. I’m not saying I don’t think a brain biology couldn’t produce something like that, but it seems much more likely to be the product of cultural factors than that to me.

Addendum: Plus, I honestly find it hard to use gender neutral or gender-sex unaligned pronouns if the person still looks like their biological sex. I don’t think I’d want to deal with using gender neutral pronouns with a partner that looks female, and being straight, I probably wouldn't be attracted to an androgynous or male-looking person.

That sounds like it would only work if the straight person can easily interpret the non-binary person as "basically like a cis man/woman just with different pronouns", and the non-binary person either has the same set of genitals that you'd expect based on their appearance, or the straight person just doesn't care about unexpected genitals, which seems rare.

But I'm bi, so I wouldn't know.

Depends more on their biological sex, not what they identify as.

Of course. I like fit folks, if your fit, and look good, kinda doesn't matter what your chosen identity is. I'll be honest, I'm not really into bright colors in hair, but the only real deal breaker is if your unreliable, dishonest or emotionally unavailable

Hard to say. I'm into lady bits and not man bits, this is from experience. I have no issue finding a man attractive physically or even emotionally but sexually it's a meh. Over my life I've had friends and acquaintances and colleagues that are of any gender and orientation, I don't really care much in other relationships. I've dated bisexual and tomboys and I like confident women and I really like confident intelligent women despite myself being mid on smarts or maybe that's why.

It probably comes down to some basic chemistry and if they are interesting people. If they have lady bits and "just are" NB, it probably doesn't matter much. If it is their entire personality that they are NB, then I probably just don't get romantically or sexually interested in the first place.

I used to have a lot of exposure to different lifestyles due to being into BDSM and heavily involved in a trans-friendly group. One of my best friends fully transitioned with I think gave me a lot of insight.

I want to say first that I fully support the rights of all people to live their truth as they see it. I respect and value people regardless of what they have in their pants or who they choose to share that with.

I'm attracted to femme features and were I to date someone they would have to pass pretty well. I'm not viscerally disgusted by a penis, and I guess I'd be willing to experiment, but in the abstract I'm not attracted to them, I don't get pleasure from anal play, and I don't really like putting my dick in butts. Not totally opposed but it's rare I'm in the mood for that — I have to be feeling very "top-y."

So just don't know that there is a lot of dating potential there. However I could use more friends and if someone wanted to hang out and talk nerdy shit over drinks in a romantic setting and call it a date, I'm in.

I will add that I'm married and while we are essentially monogamous, we aren't strictly so and hypothetically if the right person came along that fit as a play partner or throuple, I wouldn't care about gender or gender expression at all. As long as there is someone involved in an encounter who makes my junk tingle, it's all good.

Don't know. Probably not. I, straight female, have been attracted to straight presenting males since as long back as I have memories. But if I was prepubescent now and going forward, who knows, maybe my attractions would have changed?

Date: sure, why not. I don't want to die curious. But I'm really not into guys so if you come across as one I'll pass, which makes it seem like I'd be wasting both of ours time by not going for a woman to begin with.