does she have a linux/mac/m$win pc? if so, you can remote into it and work there.
this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2026
46 points (97.9% liked)
Selfhosted
58320 readers
502 users here now
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
Rules:
-
Be civil: we're here to support and learn from one another. Insults won't be tolerated. Flame wars are frowned upon.
-
No spam posting.
-
Posts have to be centered around self-hosting. There are other communities for discussing hardware or home computing. If it's not obvious why your post topic revolves around selfhosting, please include details to make it clear.
-
Don't duplicate the full text of your blog or github here. Just post the link for folks to click.
-
Submission headline should match the article title (don’t cherry-pick information from the title to fit your agenda).
-
No trolling.
-
No low-effort posts. This is subjective and will largely be determined by the community member reports.
Resources:
- selfh.st Newsletter and index of selfhosted software and apps
- awesome-selfhosted software
- awesome-sysadmin resources
- Self-Hosted Podcast from Jupiter Broadcasting
Any issues on the community? Report it using the report flag.
Questions? DM the mods!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
If you want to continue with tailscale route, why won't setup your own headscale server ? (OSS implementation of tailscale).
Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I've seen in this thread:
| Fewer Letters | More Letters |
|---|---|
| IP | Internet Protocol |
| VPN | Virtual Private Network |
| VPS | Virtual Private Server (opposed to shared hosting) |
3 acronyms in this thread; the most compressed thread commented on today has 5 acronyms.
[Thread #221 for this comm, first seen 8th Apr 2026, 00:20] [FAQ] [Full list] [Contact] [Source code]
I would walk her through a setup for Anydesk or other RDP software then just take control and do it yourself. No point in causing them stress if they get click happy.
I'm warming up to the idea of using some sort of RDP software. I saw that Anydesk is proprietary, do you have any experience with Rustdesk? I'll do some research.
Thank you (and everyone else who has responded)!
I tried out Rustdeak at work.
For what I used it I was surprised how well it worked. I would do a local trial with your own device. If it works for your case, call your mom :)
There's a really good docker image I use for rustdesk at home. I'm thinking of just setting it up on my mom's laptop and then dropping a script on her desk to toggle it on or off, depending on if she needs help (so she doesn't have to fiddle with the commands).
But, yeah, the Rustdesk docker image is super easy to use along with the client. Then I just set up tailscale on my mom's computer and invite her to my network.
I use Rustdesk daily, and host my own server on a VPS. Quite reliable and solid.
Why trying to avoid Netbird?
I'm just not a fan of mesh VPN solutions that I have no direct control over (i.e. cloud based), and self-hosting them on my own means I have the responsibility of properly securing and hardening the server on which it runs, which I'm not a fan of either haha.
But it might be the best solution, we'll see. If that's the case though I'll probably go for Tailscale despite the fact that I prefer the open source nature of Netbird, and that's because Tailscale is just more reliable and mature in my experience. It feels like Netbird might be pushing too many new features (like the reverse proxy) before their core features are finished.
@versionc
The way ive done this is to set up the wireguard tunnel on my mothers router. right now thats an OpenWrt device. I did it while I was there but if I had to do it remote I'd buy a device, install OpenWrt and config it, and then ship it to her.
As others have mentioned, Tailscale would be about the easiest to do, imo. However, I would still walk her through installing RDP. That way you can administer whatever may happen in the future, which is very likely to happen.
Router based is best. If your router doesn't support wg out of box. Use a rpi or something to create the tunnel on the network and then use a static route on the router to make the remote network routable. The rpi is the next hop for whatever your remote network address range is.
Where are you installing it for her, PC or router?
What OS is she running? Router?
What other remote tools do you have available?
I mean you've given us nothing to work with.
Frankly I'd just use Tailscale.
Sorry.
Where are you installing it for her, PC or router?
Her client will be on her laptop.
What OS is she running?
Windows.
What other remote tools do you have available?
More or less none. Any tools I'd need would have to be set up remotely on her device.
Frankly I'd just use Tailscale.
Yeah, I'm starting to lean towards Tailscale or Netbird.
Thanks.
Tailscale is good because it never breaks if your ISP switches your home IP on you. The only downside is that some public or corporate wifi networks will block the official Tailscale servers
Netbird is great and very user-friendly. Well, relatively. I had to bumble my way through the setup the first time and redo it, but certainly a lot easier than headscale/tailscale.
Why do you want to set this up, though?