this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] Hisse@programming.dev 7 points 1 hour ago (3 children)

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

I accept responsibility

[–] faqtimaan@lemmy.wtf 1 points 59 minutes ago

Well did u open ur gf photo after this post??bcz i dont see anything wrong with this post🤣

[–] AdminBot@programming.dev 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Your comment was auto-removed for profanity, an admin will review it and undelete it soon if there has been an error. Sorry for the inconvenience.

[–] faqtimaan@lemmy.wtf 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Well tbh i dont want my ex to go to heaven that b shud burn in hell

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

What's she doing later on?

[–] faqtimaan@lemmy.wtf 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)
[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Give her my number.

spoiler5

[–] faqtimaan@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 hour ago

Well i dont have ur nom 🤣🤣🤣or her

[–] dipcart@lemmy.world 13 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not to be too horny on main but if anybody knows any porn or sites or whatever that caters to this specific thing please post a link

[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 5 points 11 hours ago

Like any and all of them

[–] DimFisher@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

It depends on where you fingered them 😜

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

Best heaven

[–] J92@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Girls that put their hand in their pants and then put their fingers in your mouth; Saint Peter can't even look them in the eye as he opens the gate. 😳

[–] Poteau_Poutre@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

You speak like a true Poet

[–] pitiable_sandwich540@feddit.org 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How about girls that kiss you after a bj? 🤤

[–] ghen@sh.itjust.works 9 points 22 hours ago

That's how you know i like you enough to move in together

[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Men that lick their cum off pussies go to heaven

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 7 hours ago

Shit, it don't even have to be my cum for that.

[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Gotta have cream with that pie.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 128 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If there are no sluts in heaven, take me to wherever the sluts are.

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 117 points 2 days ago (4 children)
[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago

Glad to see her marketing for the brothel is paying off.

[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago

Free meals too? Sign me tf up.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Noooooo, I live there! In the basement anyway.

Hey, my mother is a classy lady you move upstairs and treat her right

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago
[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 71 points 2 days ago (3 children)

What about women who suck your member after you've put it in them a couple of times? There's gotta be a higher grade heaven for them. Angels truly.

[–] dipcart@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Not to be too horny on main but if anybody knows any porn or sites or whatever that caters to this specific thing please post a link

[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Cuckqueen is the female version of cuckold if you are looking for "guy does his gf's friend while gf watches/joins in." I might be wrong, but that's what I remember it being called.

[–] dipcart@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Good to know. Anything specific for sucking dick after its inside a woman?

[–] hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago

pretty standard ffm fare, won't usually warrant an additional tag

[–] tenchiken@anarchist.nexus 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The ones that clean you up after you nail their girlfriend... Those are the highest choir.

[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

God's honest truth. I have experienced that. My partner and I talked about it for a few years and eventually hooked up with her friend from childhood, who lived in our old town.

spoilerIt was one of the best feelings in the world. Getting to have sex with another woman in front of my partner, and then her giving me head after her friend had orgasmsed. I have done a lot of drugs in my life, and none em come close to that sensation. We spent 3 days at her friend's place. I don't think there was a single day we weren't all 3 having sex.

Sound made up I know. I never thought I'd be the guy to do it. But it took a lot of talking to each other, my partner and I, to feel comfortable with it. Lots of communication and honesty. Wasn't just "let have a 3sum babe"

I don't see, why is polygamy not popular

[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 17 points 1 day ago

Heaven+

It's ad-free.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 52 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Going to need to rename this channel to "Lemmy Cumpost"

[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is being horny the trick here

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bonk. Off to horny jail. Come out when you're thiiiiiis horny

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You have just created an orgy.

What did you think would happen if you put a bunch of horny people in the same hole?

[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I’m legit sad apparently we can’t post nudes on Lemmy?? I took all these fucking nudes and I want to show them to strangers FFS

do you mean .world's rule against porn

some instances ban porn and some ban all nsfw (mine says it bans both but the "keep it sfw" seems to be an unenforced guideline)

bonk! off to ze horny hole!

[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 21 points 1 day ago

Like for a crime?

“Yes officer, suspect #5 did this” 👉

Her: 👄

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 day ago (3 children)

How do I finger my fingers??

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