Ask Lemmy

"Fine. As always. And you?"

Like you said, that is not the kind of question someone asks to get any kind of personal/intimate answer, it's merely a way to be polite.

Joke answers that, while untrue, make me smile when I respond.

"Happier than a possum up a pant leg."

"Busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger."

"Going crazier than a shit-house rat." is my favorite but not always cromulent.

hangin in there! *sigh of whatever length feels appropriate for how close I am to falling*

"up and not crying"

...that is, if I'm not crying.

"Never better"

laughs manically

then just suddenly emotionless...

"Fair to muddling." or

"Just another day in paradise."

My goto is "Every day is better than the next."

"Fine". Anything that is "fine" is certainlg not.

"Oof. It's Monday."

I don't.

Which means the average dumbass that thinks existence isn't torture quickly stops responding to me. Which means I am quickly alone yet again.

Do better than that. For your own sake, do better than that.

You could pretend you're in letterkenny. That's kind of fun.

"HowAreYaNow?"

"Good,andyou?"

"Notsuhbad."

It's just a dialog check to get through. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZAz_MROU2I

"Thanks, how are/about you?"

So, not responding and directing the attention to the person who asked. Especially useful, if the person asking isn't even (genuinely) interested, but just asking as a form of greeting. The ones who care might either understand you don't want to talk about it or will inquire once more.

Hmm... Now that I think about it, that is awfully close to some US American's way of replying with the exact same question, omitting any kind of reply, concluding the greeting.

Even the nurses ask that in an office where a majority of patients have crippling, often painful disabilities. lmao. Can't escape it. I just mentally replace it with "hi" in my head and respond "decent, thanks" ("hello"). Or if I'm really struggling, I leave off the thanks.

Been better been worse

Eh you know

I've been I've been

I've been taught that just means "hi," so I respond "good," which also means hi.

Honest.

I say “getting better.” Optimism, but it also says things aren’t great right now. But they can get better.

I am visibly disabled. the last time i was asked some version of "hey, how are you" that was not in a clinical situation was over a decade ago. people use different phatic expressions because they fear I might answer honestly.

my usual answer is "i'm alive/here. that makes it a good day" which people take as an optimistic greeting but folk who know me well, uh

"Good, you?"

"I'm still here."

“Ok”

"I'm awake."

"Okay, thanks for asking. How are you?”

If it's someone I have a specific reason to believe does not enjoy the suffering of others, "Not gonna lie, I'm straight up not having a good time my dude"

But usually it's "Oh, you know"

Depends. I've realized that people aren't really looking for an answer beyond being acknowledged, so "hey", "hey, how are you?" or a simple return of the greeting lets them know that you hear them and are completing the social contract. If they follow up or if it's asked in a context where I think they want an answer sometimes I just say "here" or "breathing" and that gets the point across.

"I am vertical."

"I've been better. But I've been worse."

"Unbelievable!"

It means whatever the asker wants it to.

Just yeah, not bad like the rest of us do.

"Okay. 🫩"

For most people, I'll just tell them I could be better and then just give vague answers if they try to ask why. I don't have problems telling my feelings to people, I just don't because I don't like venting my issues on people I don't fully trust or feel close to.

"I'm here"

People don't talk to me much.

"My life is falling apart, and things somehow seem to keep getting worse with each day that passes. So, you know, just living the dream."

Or if you want to keep it brief, "Pretty sure I must have pissed somebody off in another lifetime."