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The original was posted on /r/exmormon by /u/Rankador on 2026-04-06 01:54:07+00:00.
After over a year of lessons, showing up every Sunday and institute and FHE, going to a YSA conference, watching three general conferences, going to a zone conference, having a blessing, being given a calling, making incredible friends, praying, crying, and relapsing because of how damn hard I tried to understand them, I finally told them I'm done. I knew from the start it was bullshit but I tried to see past my own ignorance because JUST MAYBE there was truth there.
I have been so tired and angry this past year. I am not an angry person, but this church has been able to build up rage in me that I didn't know was possible. I am disgusted and sick to my stomach that these people are trapped following this godforsaken man they call a Prophet.
I wasted so much time with them. I could have been with my friends, with my family, studying for college, at my synagogue, or simply loving the world around me instead of being consumed with their (admittedly) fascinating pile of shit they call a church.
I wanted to give them an objective chance. I wanted to look at what the exmos said and what the members said and find the truth. I wanted to know of the financial corruption and the history of the church and say it's not a reason for it being false. But altogether, I see no redemption in this "dispensation."
Not to mention the fact that the church has made it abundantly clear that they don't want me in it. I am a transman and queer. They hate that I exist, they hate that I am happy, they hate that I won't give up my dignity and personal truth for them. They talk a lot about honesty, but when it comes to being honest to myself about who I am, they want me to choose the words of one bigoted Prophet over my own experience, understanding, and prayers.
It took me way too long to be honest about how much time I wasted with them. I love so many people in the ward that I go to, and I have definitely made lifelong friends. The missionaries truly try their best everyday, all they want is to give love and joy to the people they meet, but they just don't understand that the church is not a one size fits all institution.
I'm scared for when they respond to my text message. I tried not to be harsh, but that made it vague. I told them I'm willing to continue to communicate if they want further clarity on my decision because I respect them and it's the least I can do for them for having to put up with me for so long. I didn't make it easy for them.
I'm finally done. I'm finally done.
But you bet your ass I'm still going to that Live Action Mario Party FHE activity tomorrow.