this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2026
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Autism

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Inquiries from an NT (maybe) (lemmy.myserv.one)
submitted 9 hours ago by Zebrafive@lemmy.myserv.one to c/autism@lemmy.world
9 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I am a person, 31, I have at times had the thought that 'I must be Autistic' and other times I have had the complete opposite thought. Currently, after taking a few online batteries and reading a bit more Im quite sure I am not.

Reasons I think I am not revolve around 3 symptoms/ criteria - repetitive gestures and routines.

I do; however, highly suspect I have ADHD.

I suppose my question 'boils down' to this, probably naaive idea thst autism is the exact opposite of ADHD, where I struggle entirely with keeping my apartment clean, getting taxes done, and enjoying my hobbies (increasing knowledge of topics I like, collecting thinks revolving around the topics, engaging in regularl, habitual activities with structure-structured engagement). It seems that Autism would he a silver bullet if I could somehow catch it.

I know this is ignorant, naaive and maybe even disrespectful or hurtful. I also am aware that there is a significant percentage of people who have both. I'd like to say that I do not mean to hurtful in this today's impulsive quest.

Questions for real this time--

*If you are Autism/ADHD, which did your doctor notice/diagnose first?

Which did you notice might be apparent first, if you weren't diagnosed by guidance of parents?

Do you feel a constant friction between these two sorts of things? *

I suppose I really have quite a number of questions if you (individuals whom are AuDHD or either or and are also reading this post on this phenomenon)feel like fielding them.

Apologies for the poor structure. And I hope to hear your inputs.

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[โ€“] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

As an adult I think it would be rare for your doctor to diagnose you with either, especially out of the blue.

After seeing a therapist for years I finally said "I think I have ADHD" and she said that she agreed it was likely. I'm not sure if she mentioned autism before or after this convo but I was like lol there is no way I'm autistic. I apparently had no idea what autism was.

So I told my doctor I wanted a referral for a psychiatrist he just gave me a prescription for stimulants and made a referral. Like so many other people the meds let the autism shine ๐ŸŒŸ

The mental healthcare system here is in the shitter so a few years later I shelled out for a diagnosis at a clinic. I indicated I wanted an assessment for ADHD and autism and was found to have both. One of the clinicians was like, "you're medicated???" so ended up getting my meds increased too lol.

ADHD is a lot more socially acceptable so maybe it happens first for so many people because it's easier to accept? I'm still not there with my autism diagnosis.

If you think you have it, it might be helpful to take some self assessment quizzes. I like this website: https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/

I also like the Adult ADHD UK podcast. I listened to it in order and thought "oh wow I'm really like Sam" and then she gets diagnosed with ADHD...and then Autism. So that helped me see it too.

Is there friction? Yup. Allow me to communicate via memes

(I'll move the furniture and then cry because nothing is how it should be and everything is going to be impossible.)

[โ€“] Zebrafive@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Ah this was a thorough reply.

The memes are fairly relatable.

No one has diagnosed me. I am speaking to a psychologist whom I specifically asked for an autism and ADHD diagnoses. Im awaiting the actual assessment after filling out a bunch of papers.

A lot his questions like: do you often not hear your name? Do you find a particular texture uncomfortable? I am find myselfing answering no. It has happened, I believe several times, but its hard to recall these things. The only stimulation I find quite irritable is like a club atmosphere and large crowds in grocery stores or other brightly lit clinical settings eith crowds. Clubs make me feel immediately irritable and tired amd stressed

[โ€“] Arcanepotato@crazypeople.online 2 points 6 hours ago

Ah this was a thorough reply.

Autism ๐ŸŒ 

No one has diagnosed me. I am speaking to a psychologist whom I specifically asked for an autism and ADHD diagnoses. Im awaiting the actual assessment after filling out a bunch of papers.

Sure, but you asked which one a doctor would notice first. I am saying they wouldn't notice either unless you brought it up to them. It's presumed that if you made it to adulthood you are normal now or something.

A lot his questions like: do you often not hear your name? Do you find a particular texture uncomfortable? I am find myselfing answering no. It has happened, I believe several times, but its hard to recall these things. The only stimulation I find quite irritable is like a club atmosphere and large crowds in grocery stores or other brightly lit clinical settings eith crowds. Clubs make me feel immediately irritable and tired amd stressed

They are also evaluating how you answer the questions. As an aside, if you have to have a system, or tags on your shirts don't bother you because you would never buy a shirt with tags, then they do bother you lol

[โ€“] kichae@wanderingadventure.party 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

So, a couple of things to keep in mind:

  • ADHD and Autism are fairly closely related, and can have significant overlaps in how they present. Special interests, collections, and knowledge cultivation are not uncommon among people with either condition.
  • Repetitive gestures can be very small things -- I rock gently, squish my toes, tap my feet, crack my knuckles, and rub my thumb along my fingertips , and I do all of these things without thinking about our noticing them. I wasn't aware I did any of these things until others called me out on them.
  • Rituals are often incredibly informal, and amount to "I like schedules", "I like plans", or even "I have strong preferences". What things are are very difficult to identify by yourself, because they are just everyday life to you. It's not like OCD-style rituals.
  • The reasons why you have difficulty doing things matter in things like this. Do you find doing your taxes painfully boring? Do you find them overwhelming? And if so, is it because you have too much on your plate?
  • Sensory issues are a cornerstone of ASD diagnoses, and you don't mention having any. If you were to explore that option, it would come up. The issues do not have to be in any way crippling -- at least, not all of the time -- but they need to be there.
  • Social impairment is another cornerstone, and remains central to the actual diagnostic criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder, which you also don't mention. This is the thing that usually most directly causes disordered lives (though the sensory issues can cause real impairments, too).
[โ€“] Zebrafive@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 4 hours ago

I find taxes, for example, to be inconsequential, immediately. I also find taxes to be...I cannot start until I get every iota of paperwork needed and not needed but deemed important by myself for unknown reasons. And then I dont get those papers, or I do but I dont actually get the papers I need only the accessory things I felt very important. Somewhat overwhelming when combined with other tasks. "Gotta do taxes" "but i NEED to so laundry" "gotta fold clothes, BUT I dont really" so on and so fourth.

Thank you for your reply. I suppose what I need to do is be more mindful of symptoms and 'watch myself more closely' until the assessment.

I do find moving my toes up and down is comforting, sometimes rocking my upper torso (when i know im not being observed) is also comforting. But it feels natural like probably everyone does that a little bit. Especially when very stressed.

The social criteria is the main mover or primary motivation for seeking diagnoses. I dont know if it this or that disorder but I have always felt different amd been described in various ways as being different. I find it bery hard to imagine how one can meet friends, maintain friends, let alone have a long term romantic partner who lives in the same household. I never make eye contact as it makes it me lose my train of thought.Eye contact seems like a thing that is directly opposed to meaningful conversation, how can anyone focus and fully flesh out a thought when staring at a goblet of eye. I do feel as though I have higher than average knowledge of how others feel or what their emotions are when speaking to them. I believe this to be an adaptation based on my life.

A mannerism I've been called out on is that my vocal volume is so low thst people cannot hear me and then I will begin to shout a few randomly. This is because I randomly remember that I am prone to speaking too quietly. This has resulted in comedic situations, and people being genuinely upset (angry) thst I was yelling at them.

Thanks foe the reply

[โ€“] disregardable@lemmy.zip 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Autism is a social skills disability. The social skills detriments are required. The repetitive/restrictive traits need 2/4.

https://thetestingpsychologist.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/ASD-Summary-Chart.pdf

The question you need to ask about this is, is it so bad that it interferes with your life or you've developed systems to avoid it interfering with your life? ie. is it a clinically significant impairment?

I'm not ADHD at all, just autistic, but I thought this info might help. Autism isn't the opposite of ADHD, because it's not really about your executive functioning. Although people who don't struggle with focus can still have executive function issues for other reasons, too.

[โ€“] Zebrafive@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 4 hours ago

I will return to this comment often for the link, very helpful. Thanks.

[โ€“] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

You can't diagnose yourself. How you feel and how you really are aren't necessarily related.

In science, you can't even have another single person evaluate with accuracy. The standard is Double blind. So that you aren't influencing results and the person recording you isn't influencing you.

[โ€“] Zebrafive@lemmy.myserv.one 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Hmmm I didn't know this.

So during the assessment there should be two evaluator? Amd if there is only one, maybe I should be suspect?

I use and to begin sentences now, I believe to be acceptable by some style guides or general practice. Perhaps some do not, opinions?

Thanks for the reply