what stopping me - idk only p a r e n t s
im tired of boymoding
school - next year i will go to home education so no problem
society - idk im seems pass now especially with long hair and baaaaaangs
i remember prev year i switched to another class to end 9 classes of school because of bullying, new classmates was cute pretty femme(even boys) weird and im come out to some of them AND THEY ACCEPTED me, this was so comfy to go school but mom was against to going school because of that SUPPORTIVE classmates...... but now in mine class are fucking terrible now and im not going to school THEY ARE toxic im not even come out but they calling me "опущенный" (prison slang for gay bottom men), "оно"(some like "they" in english but not multiple "oни"), and strictly use insult variations of dead name eg deadnamesik, usually they thread me like 3rd sort but opposite with ugly toxic masculine boy classmates, some try to press sensitive information from me
what my goal - just expression, wear that i want, look that i want, name change(but cant change gender marker)
it will be easy - i have no friends etc, most ppl dont know me, the shit from school definitly go away from this city because it small(140k population) and there no education options
i even can change name right now but im minor and need parent approval of BOTH parents (i didnt live with dad and he doesnt know anything) so problematic and plus school will see change
my parents accept transition & name change after 18 BUT NOT NOW, and even sometimes i wear neutral clothes from women section and THEY SO MUCH BETTER and clotches from men section I CANT WEAR THEM my hips are too big, i tried jacket from men section oh fuck it so tight in hip bone BONEEEE and too loose in shoulders IM SUCCESSFULLY MALEFAILING
so i think i should slowly transitioning