I would simply pinch the handle between my absolute dumptruck bootycake cheeks
this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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Mildly Infuriating
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How am I supposed to trap a velociraptor in the bathroom with a handle like that?
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This is why I always bring two dinosaur grabbers. One for me cock, and one for the door.
might one say "one for the cock, one for the lock"?
Yess so you go into the stall and grab some shit tickets so you don't have to touch the door handle and then Ooop they didn't put a trashcan anywhere near the door.
I understand not everyone is gonna shell out for a hook so you can operate the door with your foot, but at least put a trash can in throwing distance of the door so I don't have to touch the nasty ass handle with my clean hands.
shit tickets
lmao
If even the doors stop touching me, what will I have left?
The most disgusting thing in that situation is your belt buckle. It could be the fly on your pants, but I assume those get washed every once in awhile.
in 2020, i learned that hands are not needed for opening and closing things
Anecdotal evidence but, the most common touch-less features in a bath room are the dryer and soap, the two things you only ever touch once and when you are not in a transitional phase.
The sink I tend to find is usually a handle you have to physically touch, when dirty and when clean, it is such a waste. Bring back the Elementary School foot pedals for sinks (and toilets for flushing).
I randomly mentioned that if I ever find a used Hospital Surgery Scrub Sink, I will repurpose an area in the house just to use it.
Quick search shows a lot of residential and commercial options - a legit scrub sink would probably be overkill, albeit novel. Just bleach the hell out of it if you go the scrub route - those things nasty.
My shoe works just fine.
just stand there and wait until somebody comes in, like everyone does
Ever since Covid, I have opened doors with handles like that using my pinky finger because I don’t use that for anything important, especially not touching my face and it helps minimize the spread of germs
Well, that's why you grab one or two wads of TP and stick them halfway in a pocket before you reach the sink. If the establishment isn't smart enough to put a trash can near the door, they have obviously chosen to have wads of semi wet TP on the floor.
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Unless there's something super contagious (e.g. COVID) going around you're not going to get sick from a door handle. Stop being an irrational germaphobe.
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This (and a lot of other reasons) is why I carry a handkerchief.
i cary a box of tissues mainly to goon but this to
The travel goon kit. EDG