Grab the handle with your butt cheeks. it's a talent/skill you can hone
this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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Mildly Infuriating
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I use my scrotum like an oven mitt
I personally use my dick to whip it like Indiana Jones.
i didn't know we had someone blessed by the tanuki in our midst
This thread renforces my theory that hygienism is a bastard of capitalism. So much useless worries but in the same time so lucrative
Touchless sinks are the worst fucking tech ever. Shit never works, and when it does, it never gives you enough water to get a good hand wash
You have to ask nicely!
And it never gives you warm water
Geez I guess some people never go outside into the world of germs
Not to mention if everyone washed their hands properly, that door handle is clean.
Have you met people? There's stupid fucks out there who take pride in being disgusting assholes who don't wash their hands.
There were people going maskless during covid because they already caught covid and were only interested in protecting themselves.
There were people that raged at others wearing masks because they felt entitled to see their faces or some stupid shit.
It's harder to tell a woman she'd be prettier if she smiled if you can't see her mouth.
Ah yes, the final boss after washing your hands 😭
Why do they call them "handles" when you are supposed to open them with your foot?
I've had contamination OCD for the majority of my life, and this shit has been torture for me.
I've been trying to get a ADA accommodation to work from home because my job is in software, but the bastards over at HR think that clorox wipes and a dedicated cube will solve this shit. It's irritating as fuck that nobody in charge seems capable of piecing basic hygiene together.
Sounds like someone needs a motivational metaphor to make HR feel what it's like to sit in a very uncomfortable situation, such as a stinkbomb in their office.
Raw fish in the air ducts is IMO a better choice
This is why I love those things at the bottom of the door that lets you open the door with your foot.
Yes and I find it funny that I see them in some of the cheapest, bars & restaurants.
Sit at a bar and have $3 beer, there's a foot grab.
Sit at a sushi bar and get $150 bottle of sake, no foot grab. Bizzaro.
If you simply cut your hands off these petty grievances will become a distant memory.
Meh, 5 second rule applies here.
There is more shit on that handle than a toilet seat.
This wouldn't be a problem if people actually washed their hands.
I've witness a lot of people won't wash their hands after taking a piss. In fact some of them take a shit and just walk out without washing hands. These people then touch doors, windows, counters, food plates, appliances, evey fucking common surface... People in the office, corporate buildings, people in suits... so yeah, fuck people, they're fucking disgusting.
Less than 5% properly wash. We learned NOTHING from COVID. In fact, hygiene is even worse now.
I agree, same goes for vaccinations, people are now much less likely to vaccinate their kids, which may lead to catastrophic consequences...
Still would accumulate toilet aerosols over time, and would still be gross. The real solution is foot handles or no door
But then transgender ninjas can just walk in.
I take it the janitors wash the door handle regularly, but yeah, automatic door would probably be better.
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The bathrooms outside the lobby in my work building take this automatic crap a step further, with automatic soap machines. It's hit or miss if any given one will have soap at all. (Thankfully, we have another sink inside my work itself that employees can use, but guests are fucked.)
Then when they do dispense soap, it's the foam shit. So it looks like the sink just spit into my hands. Lovely.
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