Is the teaspoon's name Abigail?
this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2026
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Adult fidget toy
Does adding a specific name at the end make this funnier?
You think bus stop plastic-glass just does that by itself? No. Im out here putting in the grind on my own time with my own materials for the public good thank you very much.
Or candles....
I have an electric lighter for my candles. I have a zippo because I'm a functional pyromaniac and fire is pretty.
Degenerate behavior
Mice ate all my candles.
successfully blamed the mice
No, really. Those little shits ate all my candles. I protected all my food, put out lots of traps, got a cat ... but my battle with the mice remains ongoing. Just recently discovered that, apparently, they can eat candle wax. All my candles are fucking gone, nothing left but holders and mouse shit.
so like, they may be rats and rats are smarter than mice. we have had to (and we legitimately hate that it's come to this but like, these shitasses were tapdancing on the airducts to make fun of us) get marginally legal poisons (it's not illegal to possess, but also not legal to buy. we have to drive to Reno to get it) and we tried everyfuckingthing before this it's a warzone they come in from the rat fields and climb up into our rooves and not our houses because that's where our cats are. I will try to remember to look for the name of the poison for you if you want, those fuckers.
Have you tried one of those essential diffuser things, and use peppermint. Powerful smells like that "blind" rodents because their main sense is smell. We also couldn't get the tap dancing chipmunks to get out of the attic. Tried everything, peppermint essential oil worked for us. Tried the things made for rodent repelling that smells, but they don't really work as well. Lol
Poison can kill nontarget animals, pets, owls, hawks, foxes, etc.
We've tried fox urine. Wolf urine. Moose urine. Getting cat hair and leaving it all around the attic. I've lost count of all the nonpoison methods we've tried. These fuckers are smart, but the are also hungry.
They flee the [agricultural product] fields when the farmers hire a plane to spray for probably everything. Then they don't leave unless we kill them all. When there's poison out we keep an eye out for dead rodents to remove the carcasses, since I hear some of those poisons can stay in the environment for like 60 years and I'm putting them outside the environment dammit.
Edit fuck you autocarrot
Or crime brulée
That would indeed be a crime to use a lighter to make a crème brûlée
(crime brulée is arson)
You just have to turn the pot upside down so you can get he flame on it, it's not that bad
Maybe, just maybe, I use a lighter to light half a dozen candles, so I can get to the right headspace to play Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader?
Or maybe I just have the feeling I might want to set some shit on fire soon, okay?
Some people just want to see the world burn.
Arson
Maybe they're making coffee
The Bripe: A Coffee Brewing Pipe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tltBHjmIUJ0
I'm saving to watch later but like, does it actually work?
I mean, it's a copper pipe you put water and coffee into and apply heat, it's not like it won't make coffee. Looks like you can't buy them any more, though.