this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Keep the 'skeeters away from your peter."

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago

Excellent, but "Keep the skeeters off your Peter" has better flow.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 7 points 23 hours ago

"It can be placed on a windowsill, dining room table, or living room corner, and no one will ever suspect your masturbation aid is actually a jar full of noxious chemicals."

Oh good, I don't have to be embarrassed when guests find my insect repellent anymore.

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 4 points 22 hours ago

Are we sure this is not the onion? This feels like an April Fool's joke

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

No bugs on your junk with Beat-Off™

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

So... I mean, is the "masturbatory aid" also some sort of ointment? Are we talking lubes here, or something a bit harder?

Or, wait! Maybe the insect repellent is like a bug zapper? The mind reels.

Flypaper?

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's just a bug repellent in a container shaped like a masturbation aid. They're not actually combining products.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago

Like a Bug Repellant Dildo.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

Party poopers.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 4 points 1 day ago

/c/dontputyourdickinit

[–] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 1 day ago

Weird collab, but tenga makes great shit and I'd trust them with my dick and my life.

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

Well, if there's one place you don't want a mosquito bite...

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 16 points 1 day ago

This is the worst headline I've read all day.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The website is white text on white bg

[–] Hiro8811@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago
[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

The all new 2027 cumswater 2000!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 day ago

There a lot of companies making masturbatory aid insect repellents in Japan? 🤔

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Oh no, I needed this specific formula of insect repellent but the store only has them in stock with the toy as a package deal. Guess I'll just have to buy them both.

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

now that you have the toy you totally not wanted, it would be wasteful not to use it!

[–] YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 day ago

We BELIEVE you!

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago

It's funny because in Japanese, we don't have distinct sounds for 'er' and 'ah' so it ends up sounding like the special edition Ass model of Tenga.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

no one will ever suspect your masturbation aid is actually a jar full of noxious chemicals.

Oooohhh, that might explain the nonstop burn I've been feeling

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I mean, aren’t they all jars full of noxious chemicals after awhile?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 day ago

Can lube go bad? 🤔

[–] devdoggy@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I need to move to Japan....

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

I managed to get some things only released in other countries thru eBay. (Phone from India, for example.)