this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2026
628 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38939 readers
3673 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] osanna@lemmy.vg 3 points 13 hours ago

they started scanning dockets when you leave shops here. They scan it, so if someone tries this, it will flag them and they will investigate.

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

Can one even source actual heroin these days? Like sans fentanyl, tranquilizers, RCs etc? Hypothetically speaking of course - please don't DM me.

[–] CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net 19 points 1 day ago

This might be the highest res version of this meme I've seen

[–] barkybeak@lemmy.zip 47 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Walmart loss prevention are terrible. They are willing to die so Walmart doesn’t lose $35 worth of food.

I saw a police cam video of a woman who accidentally didn’t scan a $10 item. No big deal. I have been guilty of that myself. You get reminded to scan the item.

These L&P people called the cops and then the cops called for back up. They stopped the woman before she left and had her arrested.

No prior offenses. She had a baby with her (less than a year old). Just someone who made a simple mistake and would easily be fixed with simple conversation.

But Walmart L&P was not having it. Telling the cops to charge her to the furthest extent

Even the cops were like “Hey she didn’t do this maliciously. She has not left the store. She can still pay for the item. “

Walmart L&P told the cops to “teach her a lesson”

The cops were “nice enough” to wait until the baby’s father arrived to take the baby but the woman got arrested for not ringing up a $10 item

The L&P had these smug looks as if they took down some Batman villain. Giving each other high fives when this woman was put in cuffs.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

Walmart, in general, is a horrible piece of shit company that is just as vile as Amazon. They just have more experience in sweeping everything under the rug.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago (4 children)

Afaik in Canada, you aren't even breaking any law until you try to leave the premises without paying. Perfectly legal to grab shit from the shelves and stuff it in your pockets as long as you take it out and pay for it before you leave. If you wanted to fuck with their loss prevention people, do that looking as shady as you can, like furtive looks around as you shove things in your clothes, then just pull it all out at the register.

Note that they can ask you to just leave and ban you from the store without needing to charge you with anything (after which returning at all could get you a trespass charge), so it's more of a funny prank to think about and then not bother doing because there's nothing to gain.

[–] osanna@lemmy.vg 2 points 13 hours ago

eh, in some places, "concealing items" is illegal, even if you intended to pay. I believe that's the case in florida. If you hide items, that in itself is an illegal act. I recommend not doing this.

[–] versionc@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

Pretty sure that's how it is in Sweden too, though I'm not sure if grocery stores have a right to ban you like that. I have a tendency to put stuff in my pocket if I forget to take a basket.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

This is how it works in Finland at least.

I know that for certain.

One could technically argue you've attempted to steal them by stuffing them in your pockets, but apparently that would never work.

Still though, it's not as if the cops and guards are aware of that. Just today I had a guard hassle me, asking me what the can is in my pocket, in a store I went to a few hours ago. We went just a few min before it closed, but we never even went near the drinks section. The guard was just a babyfaced young guard who wanted to somehow try his authority. I had better things to do so I said nothing and showed the can, as it was a cold beer can, and they don't stock that beer, or even if they do, they don't chill any of their beer cans. I knew I could've legally refused from showing him, but eh, couldn't really be arsed, as it would've taken so much of everyone's time and no-one would've got why I would even do something like that. (Finns don't understand the risk of authoritarianism)

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago

it's more of a funny prank to think about and then not bother doing because there's nothing to gain.

they can ask you to just leave and ban you from the store

that's plenty to gain right there.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

so America actually does what my anxiety disorder used to tell me would happen?

guys you live in hell

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I don't think this is a very common occurrence. Depending on the state it might not even be a crime (mine says the value has to be over $50 before cops get involved).

What probably happened was the cops told the husband to meet them at the station and gave her a warning.

I was caught stealing a graphing calculator from Walmart when I was a teen, and all that happened was the L&P guy asked if I was with a parent, then called her to the office and said I had an upset stomach.

But we don't know what race the woman is, so that probably is a factor.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

happens all the time.

I knew a woman who was having a medical emergency due to low blood sugar. she was trying to get to her car where she could help herself and forgot a birthday card in her purse. A $4 birthday card....

they held her, arrested her, and made her go into shock. the cops called an ambulance when they saw her and she was taken to the hospital.

Walmart still pressed charges and banned her from the store.

Walmart is fucking vile. don't shop there unless you don't have a choice.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

bet that completely preventable ambulance ride then cost her hundreds of dollars

[–] coaxil@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's a crazy level of boot lick, Jesus fuck

[–] Hasherm0n@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

At that point they're not even licking the boot. The boot was telling them to chill.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I believe you but why do cops do what Walmart employees tell them?

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 23 hours ago

Because it's easier to give her a ride to the station and give her a warning than to deal with angry employees.

I'd be shocked if she was actually charged with anything because the DA would know that even a public defender could get her off.

[–] Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 day ago

i think you misunderstand the purpose of police

[–] white_nrdy@programming.dev 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm guessing that the L&P staff are acting as legal proxies, and therefore can press charges

[–] asqapro@reddthat.com 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm not a lawyer, and maybe this is just a US-centric understanding, but someone "pressing charges" doesn't force the police to arrest the accused person, let alone actually charge them with a criminal offense. Pressing charges, at least to my understanding, is notifying police of a crime, pointing out the offender, and tacitly agreeing to cooperate if the police need more information.

[–] white_nrdy@programming.dev 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You might be right. I am also not a lawyer, and I'm also in the US. I assumed that they would arrest since Walmart is technically provate property, L&P might have had her legally removed for trespassing? I don't know, who knows. It might also just be that the police were just listening to the orders of their corporate overlords 🤷

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 2 points 23 hours ago

Given that the police were trying to get L&P to drop it, I'm betting they just took her to the station and had her husband pick her up so they didn't have to deal with L&P anymore.

Since she didn't leave the store with the item, she didn't actually steal anything.

[–] realitista@lemmus.org 87 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Man I feel bad for anyone who lives this way.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 43 points 2 days ago

For real, this sounds awful.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Agreed.

If you're gonna steal groceries, might as well pick up stuff that the dealer needs and deliver them to his door for full price + delivery fee.

With how crazy prices are getting at the supermarket, might as well start selling smuggled eggs from dark corners...

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 45 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

I come from poverty. I'll tell you the family secrets that have been passed down for many a generations.

Now , I acknowledge it's getting harder to do this for some items. But it's still viable.

Let's say you buy an Xbox and it stops working.

You go buy a new one. Take it apart, switch out the guts, return the broken one with the new casing. This is harder to do than it used to be. But it's still possible to do this on a multitude of electronics. Microwaves. Appliances. Stereos. Etc.

Pretty sure my brother got 2 Xboxs "fixed" this way. Pretty sure my brother said this is harder to do on the newer ones. Can't recall why specifically.

But.

Let's say you need a power tool for a job. Buy it. Use it . Return it.

You should only use it lightly so you can return it without issues.

Have a tv and lose the remote. Buy a new one. Take the remote. Return the tv. They rarely check for remote and if they do say it wasn't in the box.

And like the meme says. You can buy and steal the same item so you can return the stolen one with the receipt.

Just recently I mentioned how my drill wasn't working right and first thing fam said was "just go get the same one at the Walmart and switch out the casing.".

I'm like yeah I know but it's so much work ...

[–] Worstdriver@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Better idea.

Get a Costco executive membership. They will let you return anything, no matter how old it is. I should know, I work in a Costco processing returns in the back, which is where I'm typing this.

Last week I processed a return on a couch that was 4 years old. The member got a full refund of 5k, and we're going to eat that because the vendor has a credit limit of two years.

Costco's internal numbers say that people who return stuff spend twice as much over the course of a year compared to non-returners and they will do anything to keep that sweet membership fee coming in. So you can literally recycle your entire house on the cost of a single yearly payment.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 23 hours ago

Academy also has a no questions asked return policy that they don't really advertise.

When I worked there I watched management approve a refund for an 8 year old rusted out grill because dude still had his receipt.

I worked with a dude when I was in college that used to buy broken TVs on eBay and swap out the guts, return them, and then sell the TVs to people on eBay.

He was banned from a couple Walmarts around town because they caught on to what he was doing, but couldn't actually prove he was doing fraud because we would also remove and re-solder the internal serial numbers back on the returned tv.

[–] severalkittens@ani.social 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I've done the tool "borrow" quite a bit with Amazon because fuck em. If I need a specific tool for a job on my car or something that I'll only use once. The Amazon returns also never check condition so it's a bit easier

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

I have heard that some libraries actually rent out power tools. And other types of tools.

I would guess that's more common in mid sized to larger cities. But it's also not advertised very well so you have to ask your local library and check.

Ive heard some libraries rent out all sorts of things like Gardening tools. Even musical instruments. Sewing machines. Dvd players. Cassette players. VHS players. Tvs ?

I should check it my local one has a power washer cause I have one job I need one for and I could just buy one and return it a week later.

Or. Pay $30 a day to rent from a hardware store.

Or if the library has one, that would make things a lot easier.

[–] EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've heard of people doing this with batteries and tires from rental cars.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If it takes less than an hour you’re doing pretty good for an hourly rate.

[–] VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)

And then upsell the heroin

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Absolutely zero people who are going through this much trouble for heroin, are going to upsell their heroin. :)

[–] LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 15 hours ago

But imagine if they did! That's called business savvy 😉

[–] protogen420@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

some dealers get very angry if you try reselling their stuff

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Not if you sell it back to them

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Also some libraries carry power tools and kitchen tools that you can borrow if you need something only occasionally

[–] Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Mine has a seed library. Perhaps they have poppies?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 day ago

And they'll accuse the person doing this of being lazy.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] interdimensional_sharts@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (4 children)

There is nothing honest about this work here

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago

Compared to what, a member of the Walton family?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago

That seems like it would be more annoying than just getting a job.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Don’t they ask for the card that was paid?

I guess you could look for a cash transaction.

If I shopped at Walmart maybe I would leave my receipt more often.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›