Oh Shitake!
this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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"This rounds on me guys"
They can come from a variety of things though. Meteors or just really big conventional explosions. They don't mean nukes for sure. So don't panic, at first.
I would expect that it wasn't a nuke, and I would wonder what blew up.
I'd know. It would be the chemical plant along the Rhine.
"Maybe it's friendly"
Shit...
"Mm mm! Nothing says 'we're fucked' like... that (points at the cloud)". I grab my Game Boy Advance SP and run to the shelter next doors.
"How did so many mushrooms become lighter than air?"
Depends how far away it is, since I live in NYC my building has a bomb shelter so I would probably attempt to find it quickly (nobody in this city actually knows where the building shelter is).
Rad!
Spores!
"That's too much, man!"
I'll say the stupidest swear word I could imagine. Something like "Krankenscheisse"
For context, my apartment is within the blast zone of both the EU and the NATO headquarters... if I see a mushroom cloud I'm assuming for the worst, if it's not directly on top of my head in the first place
Krankenscheisse
Unfortunately that doesn't mean anything. It would translate to "sickness poo".
You probably want to yell "Kranker Scheiss" which would roughly translate to "sick/(crazy) shit!"
They did say "stupidest"
'Unh?! Aw, fuck off, I'm trying to slee-"
I saw a pink cloud that should have been an even more imment sign of a worse death than a mushroom cloud...
I said "fuck"
But hit the ~1% lottery that I didn't have all the flesh boiled off my bones by superheated steam.
Super fucking surreal and none of us really believed it till hours later.
If you see a mushroom cloud tho, you still got time to run.
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Lol, those guys are fucked... Guess it's my turn now.
Assuming my phone is dead from the associated EMP, I'll start singing "I Melt With You"
In waterworld, there was an old man in a row boat floating inside an oil tanker. Us is he.
Oh this dream again... jeez its getting old...
(I had a dream where my electronics all went dead [from the EMP I guess] and the lights to the house went dead then I look outside my window and saw a huge mushroom cloud...
then I woke up...
And I check the direction of where I saw the nuke in my dream, its right in the ditection of the center of the city lmao)
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