Destroy capitalism by out competing everyone.
this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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help SO many people. I'd build homeless shelters etc. I always had the dream of building a whole shitload of apartments, and offering them on a sliding scale, or free if homeless. Hell, I'd be a billionaire. I'd probably just offer thme free anyway
Tell him to go back to sleep before he can start up any more damage
Two thousand girls at the same time.
Fuckin' A.
I'd take my family and leave behind the shithole that is the United States. God, I hate it here because of Republicans.
Host an anonymous scholarship program for 800 million to throw the money away while giving education opportunities to people in poverty, donate 100 mil to open source projects I use. invest 90 mil to have a steady income throughout the rest of my life.
I can live a satisfying life just with 10 mil, and the income generated from investments would be a good safety net, but I'm not really a high end luxury seeker.
- Hire an accountant. I assume I've entered some sort of tax hell for this, especially as a US citizen living overseas.
- pay off my house
- pay off US student loans since I assume there would be no way out of that
- send my wife to driving camp (she doesn't have her license which is a liability out here) which costs > 300k JPY
- set up for our retirement. We have no kids to help us, so we need to have good investments in planning
- put ~50 million into other investments, savings, etc.
- replace my car with an electric vehicle
- get a new tractor for my farm
- build out the workshop with proper tools
- take care of the needs of any immediate family making sure to pay off any loans they have
- start looking at causes to set up donations with the goal of donating most of the money
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Get rid of it, that much money is toxic. I’d throw it at every good cause I could, buy a modest house, and get back to being broke as soon as I could.
Find everyone in my life who has money issues and give them each a million.
Same, but, I would proudly and publicly deny that favor to about 3 people in my orbit. And then, I'd never talk to them again in my life.
Satan’s on the phone, he’s looking for someone to brainstorm with…
Buy Argentina.
You’re lucky, buy it in cash and you get Venezuela half off.
Also, we have a great deal on US rust belt states, if you’re interested…
Cocaine then a sub to check out Titanic. Pretty standard, really.
Lots of folks would get their debt paid off.
Lots of folks would get fed real good.
Lots of folks would get seed money to make their thing or do their art/thing/whatever
Lots of folks would get to do some sick drugs.
Etc.
I’d just spend it all until I spread the wealth around.
Guillotine myself. I can't let myself be a hypocrite lol
Put out hit contracts on the other billionaires.
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Take biggest loan(s) and sell everything I own. Buy big storage space with wall full of leaf blowers and blow the money for the rest of my life.
Probably yell WOOHOO.
Next is quit my job.
A new off-grid house. We have a lot of power outages here every winter.
An older used car (I want nothing to do with a new car which are basically rolling spyware).
Start helping the worse off in my area such as the homeless and those living below the poverty line.
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I'd shut the fuck up. Pay off my house and maybe add an addition to where I'm at. Same with some relatives. Fix my Subaru the way I want it, buy a catterham.
Start buying people's debt for pennies on the dollar and cancelling it.
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These comments prove billionaires are hoarders with a mental illness. Nobody here is looking to make more billions.
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Build out swathes of affordable housing/mixed use properties in large enough numbers to drive down the prices city wide.
get up
Hookers and coke for the win!!
Pee.
Begin process of leaving the USA.
Call a fiduciary firm in LA and have them start The Sovereign Fund for Humanity's Poor, and promptly deposit all but $10,000,000 into that. I would hire 5 people to run it. Three fiduciary's and two data analysts. The fiduciary's must be from different financial centers, the data analysts must be from Oxfam. The purpose of the fund will be to use the ROI to create trusts for the poorest people in the world first. I'd basically be privatizing UBI in about 500 years.
If i woke up a billionaire, I would tell him to pay some taxes to avoid the guillotine in a couple years.
- Buy the house for my kids I’ve been saving for
- Set us all a reasonable allowance and a rainy day fund so we never have to worry
- Find a way to donate the majority to underserved families of children with disabilities
Call a tax lawyer/pay taxes, call a financial planner, and figure out what other calls I'd need to make to set up and fund a couple of charities.