Ask Lemmy

Pay my taxes and not rape children.

Turn myself in to a millionaire

give all the money to a homeless charity and then kill myself, same feelings is if i woke up and realized id raped a bunch of kids..

Take a day off?

I would invest it. Every year, I would withdraw the profits, so that my net worth stayed approximately the same.

I would throw an event in a different city each year.

I would get that money ("earned" from doing nothing more than investing it) IN CASH.

All the cash would be loaded up in a plane and dropped in a public place. It would be a spectacle. No advertising needed, word of mouth and social media would be more than enough.

At each event, I would remind people that the money dropping from the sky is merely the crumbs from a single billionaire. Money that I did not earn. Money that was taken from the fruits of their labor and added to my stock portfolio.

I would ask them to imagine how much more money billionaires are hoarding. I would then bid them a fond farewell until next year.

Oh, and also, maybe a nice condo in southeast Asia. Thailand, maybe. Somewhere chill and fairly inexpensive. Not because I deserve a nicer place, but because fuckyouallI'mrichbitchstillnotatotaldickheadthough.

Probably fuck some kids to blend in

/s

Two chicks at the same time, man.

Lots of perfectly valid answers here about decent humane things to do with the money and power, and I certainly hope I would do things like end homelessness or otherwise meaningfully improve the world.

That said.

I'd build a full-scale, 1:1 replica of the USS Enterprise, NCC 1701-D, from The Next Generation. I'd run it like the Biltmore; technically it would be a private residence, but I'd charge people to take tours. But any time I wanted, I could close it down for a few days and just hang out on the bridge or in main engineering and vibe out to the THRUM THRUM THRUM of the warp core.

But solve homelessness first, of course.

I'm not a fan of cannibalism, but I guess waking up a billionaire would make for a good breakfast opportunity.

I have this dream of building my own little socialist company town. where like, instead of people scraping by, we all get universal healthcare and walkable, tree-lined streets.

First thing? Probably panic. Second thing? Probably try to wake myself up. Third thing? Probably try to find some rational way that I just got isekai’ed as a billionaire.

After it finally sank in, I’d probably consider lobbying for things before I lose touch with where I used to be. Right to repair, universal healthcare, UBI, etc…

Basically spend it all making militant resistance cells around the United States, enable them to operate independently via sourcing cnc machines, 3D printers, and hobbyist electronics, then provide financial incentives to targeting other billionaires' assets or persons and/or hate groups and right wing think tanks.

This will continue until I'm arrested, run out of funds, or succeed.

....then I'd buy a sammich.

What I do would be redacted here, but when I am done there would be no more billionaires.

Give most of it away to free software foundation and put couple million to an low yield ethical index fund and start packing for some traveling.

He'd probably wonder why I was in his house

I'd put him back to sleep 💁‍♀️

Besides paying off my debt and repairing my house as well as installing a geothermal heat pump, set up investments, basically all the normal shit one would do if they suddenly got a large windfall?

Buy up land to turn into forests, figure out a way to set it up in trusts or something such that nobody will have the right to do a full clear cut for timber any time soon, but maintenance cuts are fine.

Set up about a gigawatt worth of wind power generation in my country if the billions are multiple rather than exactly a billion euros or dollars or whatever. Our power usage peaks at around 1.6 gigawatts in the winter. Wind's unpredictable and I don't expect it to completely fill all demand, but rather make electricity so cheap that the fossil plants wouldn't turn a profit most of the time. Solar would be nice too, but it's borderline useless for about 2-4 months a year, I've forgotten the exact numbers.

Can't change the world with a few billion, but could noticeably improve one particular corner of it - and one that has a particularly dirty power grid at that. Driving an EV is STILL as bad as an ICE here because in the winter our electricity comes not from something as beautifully clean as coal or gas, but fucking shale rock...

Bonus, not only would I improve the availability of cheap green power, our government is currently partially funding heating system conversions from SFHs in cities and small towns, to replace solid fuel furnaces with heat pumps (ideally) or at least newer, cleaner burning furnaces, with the goal of improving air quality. Meaning the government would essentially be helping people make the most of the cheaper and greener electricity.

First thing?

Probably buy my wife something nice.

Next, I would love to upgrade and spoil the homeless shelter behind my work. I always fantasize about being able to afford food, socks and blankets to distribute.

First selfish thing? Build a new computer.

Finally sleep in.

99M in a trust fund for me, my immediate family, extended family and friends. We would live relatively modest and give generously.

901M would go to a wide assortment of charities and causes:

• Fund my local foodbank for the next 50 years. Perhaps even a dynasty trust.
• Tackle youth unemployment and unmet community needs through investing in non-market solutions. E.g. build greenhouses with raised beds in urban brownfield and greenfield property, hire local people to grow resilient local foods and donate them throughout the community. Some local old age homes had some complaints about food quality and budget and they wanted things like fresh ripe tomatoes. I'd given them 3 seasons worth for free and pay for the equipment, labour, insurance out of pocket. Local youth could get high school credits, jobs not just gardening, but designing and improve closed ag systems, plumbing, deep winter greenhouse design and engineering, logistics, everything. Good experience and spending money. Maybe turn into a market career for some.

Build a few multiplexes as high quality PassiveHousePlus and operate as self funded charity built and operated using only local labour for womans & homeless shelters

I have a few friends in social services and I guarenfuckentee a shitload of orphans and foster kids and poor kids supervised by children services would get new toys, clothes, shoes, bedding, pillows, christmas presents from a bad ass santa, art supplies, comic books, tuition, books, enrichment activity fees and more. Some have this through foster parents and public systems. Way too many don't.

I can't help everyone and even this money won't last long, but Imma go out swinging hard.

paying lobbyists to right for right to repair and privacy laws in the US, and bringing data brokers and patent trolls into never ending litigation.

Hit snooze.

i would start looking for causes to fund. extinction rebellion for example would get quite hefty sum

Turn my country the fuck around so that public servants represent people and decisions are made to improve the lives of people.

It depends on which billionaire I’m supposedly waking up. Sounds like a shitty job though.

If I woke up as a billionaire tomorrow I'd probably sleep in.

Well if he woke up obviously the first stab didn't kill him so I'd stab him again.

Buy up all the media outlets, especially Fox, and ACTUALLY turn them into progressive propaganda outlets.

Once actual progressives are in power, Lobby for government with the teeth to break up my big media empire monopoly and prevent a new one from forming.

Make a trust in each state to have local news outlets with good journalists.

Fund something to help find and stomp out propaganda bot/slave centers in other countries.

Lobby to regulate the fuck out of AI to stop its use as a programmable propaganda slop machine.

I'd quit my job, buy a small house for my partner and I and give enough to my family that they wouldn't have to worry about money again.

With the rest, I'd set up a trust that donates 1% per year in microgrants to free software maintainers who apply to it. Similar to NLnet, but with no strings attached beyond continuing to maintain the project.

Then, with all my free time, I'd also work on free software.

help SO many people. I'd build homeless shelters etc. I always had the dream of building a whole shitload of apartments, and offering them on a sliding scale, or free if homeless. Hell, I'd be a billionaire. I'd probably just offer thme free anyway

Tell him to go back to sleep before he can start up any more damage