this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 105 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Between:

“The head of Sharpie gets a call. I don’t even know who the hell he is,” Trump said. “He said, ‘Is this really the president?’”

And:

Sharpie’s parent company, Atlanta‑based Newell Brands, said in a statement that it had no information about the specific conversation Trump described.

There's a very real chance he just called a local Staples and placed a normal order for custom designed sharpie and laid the same price anyone else would have...

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 44 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Sounds like he negotiated the deal with himself.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 50 points 5 days ago

It was 99.9% a "four seasons landscapers" type deal.

He shouted at someone to get "sharpie" on the phone to order these.

Some boomer searched "how to order custom sharpies" without realizing how easy of a thing that is in 2026, called the first number, and hand the phone to the president of the United States, who likely got some $11/HR manager at a stationary supply store 5 blocks away from Marlago who thought it was a prank call.

The dumbest explanation is often the correct one these day

[–] Dultas@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

He clearly talked with Tim Sharpie.

[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

You win for favorite joke of the day for me with this one. Nicely done.

Told my wife - I summarized the subject of the submission and the comments just to get to teling her this comment in context, and you have her approval, too. :)

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 18 points 5 days ago (1 children)

No, he talked to John Sharpie himself

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

and stop calling yourself Mr ~~Manager~~ Sharpie

~~Michael Bluth~~ Sharpie customer service supervisor

[–] VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

"Ah, man. Retail employees -- gettin' no respect these days at the highest level, let me tell ya, no respect."

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 45 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"Is this President Sharpie? Because this is President Trump, and I really need to speak to President Sharpie about a custom designed sharpie."

"Ummm, I'm just the support guy currently on duty. But sure, you can call me President Sharpie if you want. I guess."

[–] moonshadow@slrpnk.net 5 points 5 days ago

Who among us wouldn't play along as President Sharpie? Finally a chance to act bigly

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 28 points 5 days ago (2 children)
[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 11 points 5 days ago
[–] stardreamer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 4 days ago

Damn, now I have to throw out my Namiki Yukari Maki-e - Apricot Tree and Warbler Urushi fountain pen...

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

If you want expensive writing tools fountain pens are where the gold is at. You can't be dumbfuck stupid and write with a fountain pen though. Signing everything with a cheap sharpie is one step above using crayons or a finger he just wiped between his ass cheeks.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 days ago

Is the case of that Sharpie strong enough to withstand being driven through Trump's temple?

[–] ignirtoq@feddit.online 16 points 5 days ago

He's a bit early for hurricane season.

[–] cranakis@reddthat.com 15 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Watch the video. PeePop just rambles. Reminds me of waiting on my grandmother to finish winding on with one of her dementia rants before I can quietly duck out of the nursing home.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 5 days ago

Watch the video

Nah I'm good

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I think newsweek gives him too much credit about the meaning of it.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 8 points 5 days ago

its funny that he could have everything he wants in life for just a few mil. just some gold plating and personalized crap and hiring a rotating thing of people to agree with him on everything and kiss his ass.

[–] IzzyScissor@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

Looks closer

Skerple

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I wonder if he's a fan of butt sharpies.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Possible mod

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 4 points 4 days ago

Part of me thinks he watched some inspiring monologue in a movie or show where the character takes an unrelated topic and ties it back to the previous discussion to great effect and thinks "oh that's easy, I could do that."

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 2 points 4 days ago

“Well, sir,” Bessent replied, “as usual, you’re a tough act to follow.”

Sniveling toad.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 4 days ago

He's never seen anything that big in his hand.

[–] Sumocat@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

People are asking for ridiculous amounts of money for these on eBay.