Dad Jokes

I don't know, can you?

Answering yes to a one or the other question

Monty Python and/or Naked Gun quotes

Considering how much I love dad jokes, puns, and combinations thereof, I'm SHOCKED that I only scored 1/20! And I only point out horses SOMETIMES, depending on the situation.

Dogs, though? I'll interrupt whatever you're saying or doing to point it out no matter what.

Unlike horses, dogs are precious treasures that people NEED to be made aware of immediately, so they may coo and melt!

Eight-ish? Dad of two nearing fifty so I guess I'm on par for the course.

One is discovered thanks to US memes is the dad uniform including New Balance. I bought some NB when I was in China and I have to say they really are comfy.

The one about awkward loads is hilarious to me. Because it really is true though. You can lift a shit ton more if you've a good grip! I can hardly lift a washing machine, but I can carry one on my back without issue.

Unlike my vision, I'm 20/20.

When my kids were little, I joked about getting the "special saw" for their injuries. Looking back now, that's pretty terrifying but at the time, ... Same.

Checked every box, passing them on to the next generation. Missed a couple:

Get any on you? - after a belch.

Pull my finger

3 - 1 because I'm awkward, 1 because I used to be a horse girlie, and 1 because my dad taught me to be an obnoxious wiseass.

I think I’m about 90% dad here.

With four children, I think it still means I have to parent them all.

"That's how they get you" is a significant part of my personality.

well, I'm 55, so the 20 of them, and some I still says once a week :)

Only 7. I feel like I’m letting my children down.

I'm a childless dude in his 40s and I tick several if you replace "kids" with other family/coworkers/etc.

Oh man...11, always knew I was built for it, but I still ain't having any

About 6 or 7.

I read the first column and thought "Huh, guess I'm not as Dad as I thought I was," but then ticked every box on the second column.

4½ out of 20 for me. I really need to step up my game!

My dad always said "let's rock and/or roll" for departure.

18/20 jfc... This was probably a quarter of that before being a middle aged dad and inheriting my father's clothes.

Maybe 4? Less than I thought.

Clicks the tongs

Slaps the hood

Kicks the tire

16, and that's just the things I've said this week

Damn, I’m friggin super-mega-dad over here. I also literally typed this with one finger

3:

"Glad we're not going that way..." : I say that often

"It's not heavy, just awkward." : I don't say it often, but I've said it before... more than once. I've also said "Yea, it's heavy."

"People don't know how to drive in this town." : Not those exact words, but I think about it EVERY time I'm on a certain road. If there's someone in the car, they're going to hear me complain. It's almost always about the same two issues too... driving under the speed limit in the left lane, and not having any idea how to merge into a different lane... If you can't merge, you should not be driving.

Surprisingly I only hit about 4... although maybe 5 as I use "roll out" when leaving...

Shoot - my wife gets at least as many as I do!

I’m fine. How are you?

Zero points actually.

Maybe "horses", thats at least a bit possible since I would notice and look at them.

"Smells good!" When nothing smells good

I only have one of these. And all my coworkers tell me I have the best dad jokes. I kind of feel like a fraud.