I feel seen
this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Ah shit. Sorry, I was stabbing someone. Guess I don’t get that coffee. 😔
If you're stabbing a bad guy then you're still eligible for the coffee.
Everybody who stabs people thinks they're the bad guys.
I stabbed myself so I don't actually get to pedantically ask whether it is the stabber or stabee that is considered the baddie :(
Usually when I do that it's more like who's the klutz.
schrödinger's baddie
Does your uniform have skulls on it?
thank you. this gave me the motivation I needed to stop scrolling on my phone in bed and to instead scroll on my phone from the can
with coffee
Ya can't stop progress!
(and by progress, we meant substance dependency)
I can stop anytime I want!
...my happiness is just dependent on me not wanting that.
I don't drink coffee. What alternative rewards are available to me for being kinda awake & reading words & not stabbing anyone?
Tea?
Chocolate
Aah yes chocolate is a lovely reward for not stabbing anyone.
Also a good preventative.
I'm all out of chocolate and I've got a plethora of knives. *Opens used knife stand. $2 Dollar knives or a chocolate bar!
As a coffee preferer myself, I think if you have tea you'd be allowed a compensatory biscuit.
Can I at least stab someone a little bit?
It did say "probably"! I think that's your loophole. Just pick a "Vic #1" type target.
(As in whodunnits where everyone has a motive to kill THAT guy)
Isn’t being stabbed a binary condition? Like being pregnant. You’re either stabbed or you’re not.
I would prefer a nice cup of black tea instead please
Apollo teasing just the tip.
Then stabbing your fucking eyeballs while trying to get coffee.
Thank you Maxxus, it's been a long night and you just made facing the day worthwhile
You know what? I do deserve a coffee.
What about second coffee?
Way ahead of you with that coffee.
Look how EFFICIENT you are!
Thanks, I do deserve another coffee.
Phew, thanks for reminding me that I need to go stab some people today! And thanks for the coffee; helps me stab better!
Roberto?
Don't mind if I do. ☕😌
Thanks. I'm drinking my first beer to celebrate not stabbing anyone yet today.
This sounds like a quote from Disco Elysium, so now I got this image in my head, which I will share.
sounds kinda like something exurb1a would say
I was just thinking about that.
hope that dood in ikebukuro doesnt read this tonight... too late little sunbeam
I’m not stabbing anyone righ now! Maybe I am a good person! I am slicing someone right now but that isn’t a stab!