this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 120 points 6 days ago

Still deciding.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 97 points 6 days ago

Gotta love they ask for your income level before asking your name.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 91 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I could go for a big pile of towels to hide in.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 42 points 6 days ago

you can put that in the lover's style section

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm not sure what you wrote. Do you think it will stink? Or do you demand that it has to?

[–] smh@slrpnk.net 3 points 5 days ago

I often demand an olfactory component to my calming shelters. The smell of rotting bananas in particular reminds me of my first college advisor's comfy, crowded office.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 3 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You know you can wash towels, right?

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Oh yeah? And how am I supposed to dry them afterwards, smart guy? With handkerchiefs?!

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Right? What devilry holds them up like that, and how are they so neatly aligned, almost like in a line??

Throw them in the fire! And the towels too.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Given the fact that they can already do this level of sorcery, do you really want to piss them off by burning the towels they have so meticulously levitated?

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 2 points 5 days ago

I'm not entirely sure.

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[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 66 points 6 days ago

Yet another marriage ruined by Big Towel. Smh my head

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I really hope this isn't satire.

I mean, it's pretty good satire but it would be good if it's true

[–] aeiou@piefed.social 34 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Is that the same person who made the milk bath advertisements?

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[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 41 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I'm going to need to see a rear picture of both Darlene and Tom before I can really decide. So I suppose I'm still deciding.

Quick question, is the pile of towels still around?

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

It doesn't say "check one only".

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[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago

Tom looking forlornly out of the towels is gutting me.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 31 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Father Donovan was always pretty chill.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 4 points 6 days ago

Everybody knows Father Donovan's a got thing for Darlene. Word is she's wild in the sack.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 20 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

some may even call him a hoopy frood

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 7 points 5 days ago

Well he certainly knows where his towel is

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

Absolute gigafrood energy.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I've never seen an analog digital media post before.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 3 points 5 days ago

it was delivered by a snail flown by a pigeon

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 17 points 6 days ago

GODDAMIT! Here I was thinking that this was a wonderful way to maturely alert the world to their new status, and in the end it just turns out to be nothing but another AD! SPAM!

I'm profoundly disappointed.

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 16 points 6 days ago

He understands.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 19 points 6 days ago

Very considerate of them.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

growing up in a small town, this is accurate.

the Jr high science teacher was the town whore. you could find her at the bar most Fridays. you knew she was there by the smokers cackle.

how would a student know who's in the bar you might be asking yourself. because it was the town watering hole and everybody went there.

how did a student know she was the town whore? because several high school students couldn't keep their mouths shut after losing their virginity.

she did throw the best parties in highschool though, if you were into the swingers lifestyle.

fun fact, her husband was a cuck.

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[–] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's always a good day when a new TrueWagner project hits the wild.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This guy hits my humor button perfectly

[–] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Same. We've got a local guy here in New Haven, CT that's doing similar stuff. Once a week or so, I take a walk around town looking for new ones. I'll post the next one I find.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 2 points 5 days ago

Tag me in it if you can remember!

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Love Alan Wagner. Such a recognizable style. It feels like handmade, bespoke humor. A rarity nowadays

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

You will certainly not regret having 3 pile of towel.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I have no idea what's going on please explain the joke

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 2 points 5 days ago

'I have no idea what's going on' < this is the joke.

[–] ClownStatue@piefed.social 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Lover's Style? I'm surprised this hasn't been jumped on yet. "All Conquering?" "(Power) Bottom?" "70s Porn?"

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

I would prefer a few standard options to choose from. Leaving it as a fill in the blank is a lot of pressure.

[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 6 days ago

Very whimsical stuff going on.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

"All our fucking neighbors" this is the internet you dont have to self censor

Edit: /s goddamn it lol this was supposed to parody these types of annoying comments

Doesn't really match the tone, it's probably the name of the apartment complex

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[–] 4grams@awful.systems 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

And just where can one procure such a pile of towels?

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