Ask Lemmy

I enjoy discussing and confronting ideas. I see no interest in arguing.

No.

I don't mind arguing, but it's fueled by my undying rage at dumbfuck assholes. Pick a lane! Sheesh.

No, I enjoy respectful discussion and learning. There is a huge difference. When you get to the raised voices, snide remarks, and it feels like your hair is on fire the whole time it's arguing.

I lived with a woman who loved to constantly bicker and argue, sometimes to the point where there were screaming matches over stupid stuff. You didn't dare defy her. She was in a family that constantly fought and argued over pretty things. I was stuck with it and arguing with her boyfriends who 80 percent of the time were not all that bright. I hated arguing by the time I was in school.

That was my mother. When I finally left I could eat a meal and be sick, vomiting a green slime because of the constant fighting and crap. My son a few months prior had passed away at 9 days old, we had been homeless because of her decisions to not pay things, and her latest winner of a boyfriend kept picking fights with me because I was younger so obviously I knew nothing and he knew it all.

This man screwed up so many things because he could do it all. He did a brake job on a car and had to treat it apart again because he messed something else up. Not to mention he didn't torque the lug nuts. My mother's previous boyfriend would hand me a part and tell me, "the pickup needs tree water pump replaced, go do it." When I had never done one in my life without telling me how pre internet and had no problem. From around 9 to i was 18 that guy who was a former biker, maybe draftee, and spent 15 years in maximum security prison for beating the crap of of his ex and her new man then taking a TV and slamming it on the man's head nearly killing them both so also seemed to hate my guts.

I finally left not long after she got drunk and pissed off at me for something and told me how her life had been ruined because she had me.

I can't stand fighting and arguing. I can't stand taking on the phone either, my mother loved yelling and slamming them too she had the 50 foot cord and loved the cordless ones.

The only time I had fun with arguing was in WoW... have some public fight and be breezing through, then stir the pot and leave. Come back hours later and they were still at it. My favorite was for the grammar nazi's, a simple, "There, their, they're... it'll be ok." Was my favorite.

I loved arguing and being just overall mean and negative and a cunt to people on Reddit who posted really absolute complete garbage sludge, like parroting the same tired Le Epic phrases that were already posted 20 times in the comment section before they squeezed the rubbish bin juice out of their half-a-brain cell enough to comment “pLaY StUpiD GamEs, Win…” and when they’d get mad at me for being mean I’d always have a great time.

I can’t really do that here. It’s nice. I don’t really see completely horrible dumb garbage here very often. It’s very refreshing. So I don’t really feel the need to be a cunt anymore. As much.

Also sorry for the insane run-on sentence there, but it fits how I wanted to express it from my brain hole.

For as long as the topic is interesting and the other person is being civil about it and is actually arguing against what I'm saying and not just what they think I'm saying.

Yes, a lot, it's my favorite hobby. I like trying to make good arguments, appreciating when other people make good arguments, and pointing out bad arguments. Topic doesn't matter too much, though maybe free speech is the one I get most heated about, especially the idea that arguments are worthless and should be suppressed.

Only against people who are wrong.

If it’s discourse, I find it can be enlightening and learn something new. I don’t really like heated arguments cos I just get ready to square up at that point. I’m confrontational about things I could probably just let go but I have to be a Larry David about it and the response is always very defensive from the person I’m calling out

Hypothetically, yes. Practically, no. Arguing is fun and engaging when you have a sparring partner who is sharp, engaged, and persuadable. If changing someone’s mind isn’t on the table, or if all you’re capable of doing is poorly repeating memes and headlines you’ve seen, I’m not interested.

Who's arguing? I came in here for a disagreement!

Not really. I can enjoy a debate, IF the other person is doing so in good faith. Challenging, enlightening discussions are always welcome!

Generally speaking, if one of us can’t “agree to disagree” and happily change the subject, then it won’t be a good time.

Arguing is not contradicting everything I say.

Yes it is.

Stop that.

I used to, when I used to believe people could change their minds in response to a good argument. Now that I realise no one ever changes their mind because of an argument, I no longer enjoy it. Now I mostly see it as a self reinforcing public display of affiliation

No

No

Arguments are fun when they're just civilized disagreements about inconsequential things. Like, architectural decisions at work are always interesting cause you may learn a thing or two and it doesn't matter if you don't convince others, it's not your product. Actual heated arguments, I tend to stay away from.

I really don't. No-one argues to convince anyone, just to state their own opinions louder.

I used to. I'm an old school troll. I enjoy messing with people and teasing. If I can make things difficult or awkward for someone, then get both of us to laugh about it, I'm in heaven. But over the last couple of decades people take themselves more seriously or something and its harder to get people to be silly or appreciate the absurd. People don't enjoy it any more so I stopped doing it. I don't want to get people actually mad, or have them be truly upset. But yeah, I'd argue just about anything to get someone going. I'd get more and more outrageous till they finally twigged what I was doing. Then I'd do the same thing to the next person but take a different stance. Usually the first person would join in and it would just snowball.

I enjoy it when I find out I was wrong. That moment of "oh shit!?" is awesome.

I also really enjoy arguing pedantically over fictional worlds.

As in debate? I used to but I have less patience for it now. Its possible because I did so much of it I tire of rehashing things with folks who have not as thoroughly gone through the many things. I still am a little obsessed with the idea of truth though.

When I can argue with someone rational who is willing to change their mind or has a reason for disagreeing with my or the foundations of my argument such that they can explain where I’ve made a mistake, I like arguing.

It’s even fun when you argue with rational people about irrational things for the fun of just pushing the limits of understanding. Like trying to debate ontological nihilism purely for the pain of trying to understand it.

However, I do not like arguing with people who are irrational, because there’s no point, and I know it, but I really feel like maybe if I just said something right they’d start believing in evidence.

It is also just very difficult to explain certain things to people who don’t understand the foundations of your reasoning.

There’s a saying that to a mathematician there are only two kinds of problems: impossible and trivial. When you’ve thought a lot about something, many foundational concepts seem trivial to you but not to outsiders. It’s very difficult to branch this gap in knowledge.

For example I had an argument about how the undecidability of the busy beaver numbers seem to disprove solipsism because something had to do the work to find them but it wasn’t me, so something other than me must exist for those few numbers we’ve calculated so far to be at my fingertips.

This argument means nothing to people who don’t know what undecidability means, and it is incredibly difficult (for me at least) to try and defend that proving something is “undecidable” in the first place is even possible to someone who’s never seen/done a formal math proof.

Only if it's about something that ultimately doesn't matter, if shit gets too serious I don't enjoy it

No, I hate it. I find conflict repulsing. I wish people agreed on everything. But we don't live in a perfect world, so I still argue.

I hate arguing and I will fight you on that one! ;)

Typically, no. Not in person and not online. However, winning an argument - in particular one that brings fairness or justice as a consequence - feels very rewarding. But I still don't enjoy the actual arguing part.

Discussing different points of view though, I don't always consider this arguing. As long as it remains an exchange, it is pleasant. If I have to attack and defend something personal, then no.