this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2026
431 points (97.4% liked)

Not The Onion

21041 readers
557 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 94 points 6 days ago (5 children)

I am pissed off that I watched that video, and they didn't show the damn dash bong.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 11 points 6 days ago

Came to say the same. I was looking for inspiration!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

yeah, i can think of a few rigs that are pretty easy to slap together but like, i'm stealing your rims if you want me to do that. and your distributor. fuck driving inebriated, i'll build you a hotbox but not a rolling one.

[–] moonshadow@slrpnk.net 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

This is the post where I quit thinking you were cool. Now if you'll excuse me it's my rip, can't smoke drive and text. Not enough hands!

knees dude knees

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

I KNOW RIGHT WHY DO YOU THINK WE EVEN CLICKED ON THIS

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Indeed, I wanted to see how the crazy mounted his bong on the dashboard. Adhesive, self-tapping screws, bolts, etc...on a gryo base?

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

bro they said built into the dash!

“custom bong device built into the dash ..."

yeah we GOTTA see this shit

[–] mosspiglet@discuss.online 6 points 6 days ago

I was thinking, "any second and they're gonna show that bong". Nope. Very disappointing.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 73 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Inside the truck officers found a “custom bong device built into the dash of the truck so he could comfortably smoke drugs while driving”. Meth, heroin, and fentanyl were also discovered, as well as the stolen items.

The driver of the truck had 97 prior arrests. He is facing charges of DUI, eluding, and possession of narcotics. The passenger was turned over to Centralia PD for organized retail theft.

Goddamn dude

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 17 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Extremely unresponsible to be driving under the influence of hard drugs. If someone is going to be smoking meth and fentanyl, they should at least have the reason to not be driving.

[–] DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I mean… it didn’t say he was smoking anything but weed out of the bong… probably but FFS, how about the 99 priors??? How was this asshole even behind the wheel of a vehicle? This stinks of a CI.

[–] cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

you shouldn’t be driving while smoking weed either

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The article said there was fentanyl, meth, and heroin. I'd guess that he wasn't just transporting it.

[–] DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 6 days ago

I’m not saying he wasn’t using a bit of himself. I’m just saying a bong is typically used to smoke weed. Given the potency of Fentanyl I doubt he was just casually sprinkling a bit on top for flavor 😝

Did you expect him to walk to the liquor store?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

97 prior arrests sounds like police harrassment, not illegal behavior.

logic this through with me. if he'd been convicted, there would be a hell of a lot fewer arrests.

[–] Zak@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Under other circumstances, I might agree with you, but the guy built a bong into his dashboard.

That's an impressive level of commitment to DUI.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

it's not convictions, it's arrests. after i'd been arrested (not convicted) 60 times, fuck obeying the law. the social contract broke.

[–] Mesophar@pawb.social 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Fuck endangering other people

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago

Woah!

…based based based based based…

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 30 points 6 days ago (1 children)

What a great example of why police chases shouldn't be a thing, the cop was more dangerous than Smokey Pete.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 31 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Cop tried bumping the truck on a fucking two-lane road with a car coming the opposite way. Holy Cheez-its.

[–] modus@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago

It's almost as it cops aren't intelligent.

[–] Lupo@lemmy.world 29 points 6 days ago

Two more and he'll get a free ice cream

[–] DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Reminds me of a story I heard like 20-30 years ago. Some German dude wrecked his Merc on the autobahn… the cops get there and he just wreaks of schnapps but they find no bottles, no means of consumption. The car gets towed to a police station to be examined and they found that he had diverted the window washing tank into the cabin, dude wants a pug of schnapps and he hits his window washer button.

[–] Pauce@lemmy.ca 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That is a level of ingenuity that I love to see in people. Application of it is nooot great but he's got the spirit.

[–] DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 6 days ago

Don’t you mean spirits?

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He definitely needs to get arrested 2 more times now

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

A high speed chase, or a high speed chase?

Also: wtf was with the pit maneuver when oncoming traffic was like less than a 100 feet ahead? Dumbass shit.

[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago

This whole chase was idiotic. Poor pit maneuver. Chasing suspect through traffic and intersections.

[–] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 13 points 6 days ago (3 children)

What if, hear me out, you confiscated the car at any of the previous 95 stops?

Oh yeah this is America so it will make it impossible for you to live..... You know what, in that scenario dash bong seems totally reasonable.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] GhostFish@piefed.social 6 points 6 days ago

Someone pardon this man. 

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I have been living my whole life wrong.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] muxika@piefed.muxika.org 4 points 6 days ago

If Grand Theft Auto were a Souls-like.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Do I smell a late night talk show?!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›