/r/brandnewsentence has a mod sticky right now telling people for the love of god stop posting this.
this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion
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Two people who were in the back seat of the vehicle witnessed the deadly shooting, the sheriff's office said. Webber allegedly asked them for their help in disposing of the body, but they refused, got out of the car, left the scene and ultimately flagged down officers with the La Plata Police Department, authorities said.
well that seems to be a slam dunk case
well that seems to be a slam dunk case
..or whatever the cornhole equivalent is. A cornhole-in-one?
Grand bag: when a player makes all four bags in the hole directly, one after another, during an inning; differs from a four-bagger in that a bag is not later knocked from the board's surface into the hole during the inning. 🤷🏼
there are rules to corn hole?
I mean, yeah. You at least have to decide who's on top first.
Damn. Who refuses to help a quadruple amputee? Jerks..
😂
it’s wonderful to see someone overcome adversity and not let anything prevent them from chasing their dreams, but… maybe this guy should’ve been discouraged.
...cornhole champion?
Seems awfully ridiculous to mention.
"Officers surrounded the rapist -- who btw was pretty sick at drums -- before apprehending him."
...?
Seems fine. It’s common to mention notable things about people like this.
Example: https://variety.com/2025/music/news/lord-buffalo-drummer-detained-by-border-patrol-1236397990/
Yeah, cornhole is pretty obscure as a pro sport but it’s still noteworthy.
The news should be required to mention one factoid about whomever they’re talking about.
“Local Yu-Gi-Oh champion arrested over altercation with Burger King employee regarding trap cards.”
Yu-Gi-Oh: "You see, 'Pot of Greed' lets me draw two cards."
BK employee: "But, what does 'Pot of Greed' do?"
Altercation begins.
Is that the same thing as assmaster?
But how? Terrible article.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/mar/24/amputee-cornhole-player-arrested
Asked whether the sheriff’s office suspected Wells was shot dead with a gun that had equipment adapting it for use by someone without hands, an agency spokesperson said that was unknown.
This is what I want to know. Americans shoot each other all the time, but quadruple amputees are rarer.
I can't wait for the 48 Hours episode about this
Dayton James Webber, 27, is accused of fatally shooting the front seat passenger of his vehicle
Woah wait.. The guy was driving and shooting?!
Yes. He has two han--
Oh, wait.
I don't usually get impressed by criminality, but honestly, how could I not be
Thank you. That site is cancer, though.
I had to search to find the video
Video of him shooting a gun for anyone wondering about the logistics: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/0QmPjTkX70Q
How the hell does he do that without shooting himself in the crotch while racking that slide?
Thank you for the video still wild to picture him driving a car and turning with his nubs to shoot the guy sitting next to him.
okay but how in the shit is he operating the trigger?
I believe it's modified to give more room for his stub to operate the trigger. Or maybe he can fit a bit of it in there without modification.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO!"
Take care of your corn hole, buddy
Cornholing has a league?
we're in the same boat buddy. i thought you just threw shit while drunk
How do you think leagues are started?
probably with one step
They gave Trump the World Cornhole Peace Prize.
‘Just Do It’
That mugshot: "Yeah, I did it. High five!"
Tom Scott has seen better days
Finally some lighter news.