this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 113 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I hated the recruitment texts and calls. The high school and university apparently just give your information to recruiters.

[–] Decq@lemmy.world 90 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Wait, this a real thing? That's so... American I guess.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah, but if you go to a good high school they send recruiters who may tell you to commission instead of only to enlist

And no they don't take "ineligible" for an answer. I didn't want to die for oil, but even if I did they wouldn't let me, but they also wouldn't leave me alone.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago

I hear one can take the ASFAB, book the follow-up interviews, etc., but drop the mic on the pre-boot questionnaire that tries to suss out your "conscientious objector" leanings and never have to worry about another spam call/email (barring a draft). Or, so I hear. It's been decades, now. 😜🤌🏼

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

did you take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery? One day "off" of classes in exchange for taking the military test. In exchange, you give the military your contact information yourself.

i did not take the test. i got way fewer recruitment letters and calls than my friends.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Nope I did not take it nor was I involved in anything like ROTC either.

Calls started being sent to our landline and my parents cellphones which were listed with the high school. After going to university is when they began coming to my cell phone.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

It would be really funny if they did it based on grades

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 60 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

"so i understand you take men in your military. did you have to be born that way?" got them to stop calling me altogether back during DADT.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I told them I was a conscientious objector in 2001 and never heard from any of them ever again.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago

when "I am not going to join, please stop calling" doesn't work, you have to know the actual magic words.

[–] cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

unfortunately I fear that gets you put on a list you dont want to be on

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

We're already on all the lists.

[–] suzyq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Oldest child was contacted via text by a recruiter. We told them to waste their time. Say "yes, I'll talk to you about it if you treat ME to a meal at [local restaurant]." (emphasis mine)

The recruiter ghosted them after that.

We had an army recruiter come talk to our history class in high school (this was in the '80s). After the guy's talk he said "any questions"?" My friend Rob said "yeah, I have a question: does napalm still stick to kids?"

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Ironically that's a good recruiter. Anything that looks like fraternizing with potential recruits outside official activities is a huge no no.

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[–] JayleneSlide@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"I mean, I wanna—I wanna kill. Kill. I wan—I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill. Kill. Kill! Kill!" And I started jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" and he started jumpin' up and down with me and we was both jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" And the sergeant came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, and said, "You're our boy."‎ Didn't feel too good about it.‎

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure it's not, but this feels like something from Full Metal Jacket.

[–] Jomega@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's from the song Alice's Restaurant.

[–] X@piefed.world 43 points 2 weeks ago

I bet b he’s good buddies with SSG Leaudrag.

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] upbeatdingo@piefed.world 31 points 2 weeks ago

Is that Barbados Slim?

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[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 weeks ago
[–] NotSteve_@piefed.ca 31 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Do military recruiters actually just cold call (well, text) you like that in the US?

[–] resting_parrot@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago

Yeah, I got a call when I was sixteen or so several years ago. They strung me along for quite a while just acting like they knew me. I was trying to figure out how I knew them and finally they said they were a recruiter and I told them I wasn't interested. I wish I told him to fuck off, but that's not the kind of kind I was.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

They even come to your highschool class during lesson time to talk with everyone about why military is awesome and you should totally join.

There was also a few month duration each year where army members would setup a table in your school cafetaria and give snacks for talking about military or taking surveys etc.

[–] NotSteve_@piefed.ca 7 points 1 week ago

That's actually fucking absurd wow. I was in the Canadian Air Cadets as a kid and even then I didn't see that level of recruiting. Like even when doing Cadet basic training on an actual air base, it was always just learning drill, shooting, and about how planes worked. I've never in my life been asked or had it suggested to me that I join the military

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fun fact: the United States hasn't signed the international agreement banning child soldiers because the military allows 17-year-olds to enlist (although they don't actually start their service until they're 18).

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[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Yes. Before cell phones were common they called my parents land line asking for me.

Also like any ‘sales’ job metrics matter, so they’ll take a meeting with kids like this even if it doesn’t convert to a recruit in the end.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I actually wanted to join the military fresh out of high school but I was informed by my recruiter that they don't take autistic people

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

It's a loss to their logistics supply corps.

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[–] Benchamoneh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Have you considered applying for ICE?"

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[–] b0ber@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So you have a heartbeat? Please meet me outside

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[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, kill them

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[–] anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Soooooo, at what day do you get your own grenades?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

When I was working retail, stocking shelves, one of those scumbags walked up to me and asked "so is this what you want to do for your life, are you happy here?"

Like what the fuck.

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[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 14 points 2 weeks ago

"Are you saying I can take skulls and spill blood? If so, sign me up! I gotta make Daddy Khorne pleased."

[–] TipRing@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (5 children)

The bar has been low for at least 30 years. Marine recruiter wouldn't leave me alone even after I started hitting on him.

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[–] jeniferariza@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

That reply alone should’ve been the end of the conversation 😭

[–] Lololi123@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

in Russia, they agitate during their studies, promising a diploma) I can already see how such a person who has received a diploma in this way will work well in education.

[–] Smaile@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago

at least the SSG still has his sense of humor

I assume everyone has heard the Arlo Guthrie thanksgiving song. "I wanna kill, kill, kill, kill!" "You're our boy."

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I wonder what the response would be if you said something like: I'm already in the Navy.

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[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Our bestest ally and only democracy in the Middle East needs wall lickers to usher in their bizarre delusions.

Want to know more?

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