"Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!"
"Hi there. What can I do for you?"
this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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You could also do the Steve Austin “Won’t Do What You Tell Me”. Glass shatters
4′33″
Your wish is granted.
Anyone who doesn’t pick this will quickly be insane, and have no friends. I walk through a lot of doorways in a day.
At first I was thinking of 45:33 from lcd sound system. But the John Cage background noise is a much better choice.
It does contain a sample of 4'33" if you listen carefully
It's been a long road, gettin' from there to here.
You sir, are an evil person. May all your streaming services only play "Section 31" from now until the end of time.
And his name is John Cena!
I just can't see it.
Realistically, that would get annoying pretty fast and I'd soon learn to hate any song I chose. So I'd pick 4′33″, which is four minutes and 33 seconds of silence.
But otherwise I'd pick "One Bad Tank", from the video game Left4Dead2. It's the song that plays when the boss enemy enters a particular map.
Made me think of the sound when you encounter a Pokemon in the OG gameboy versions.
Wilhelm Scream
The first 2-3 seconds of the Cowboy Bebop theme..
Second choice: ~0:48 to about 1:00 of Theme for Jetsetters by The Tikiyaki Orchestra (assuming a fade out near the end)
Third choice: Acapella version of the Pokemon Red Rival Appears music for about 14 seconds. People in the room find themselves disoriented and confused, wondering why on earth they started singing when I walked in.
I Touch Myself
Picture it... Henry Mancini - Baby Elephant Walk starts playing. You walk in. Double finger-guns. Wry smile. A wink for every person in the room.
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One-Winged Angel. Just the intro, before the Latin. Specifically this version.
The best final boss music to a video game was 29 years ago and has not been topped since. Of course, with the rise of PlayStation and disc-based games (ironically, where Final Fantasy 7 was released and in which form), games became more about the journey than that final fight. There were still "last boss fights," but they became less the focus and more about the end of the journey. But after beating Sephiroth for the first time, and he sprouts a wing (just the one!) and this song kicks in, and the real fight begins... that's when you knew you were in some shit. Especially if you reached max level and Sephiroth took literally an hour to beat (I think this was an early anti-cheat thing).
Baby shark. So I stop getting invited places.
The very first part of Locke's Theme by Sean Schafianski (from Final Fantasy 6)
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Obviously the opening "Heeeeere we are!" from Queen's "Princes of the Universe"
There can be only one.
Anything by Black Flag with Henry Rollins
The stab scene from psycho.
Mine would have to be Oops I Did It Again, it'd just be the start of the chorus. I think that would nearly always fit the situation.
The clip used for Dramatic Chipmunk.
From "Young Frankenstein", by the way. I couldn't resist finding out where that came from. It's the scene where they first arrive at the castle.
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People = Shit cover by Richard Cheese. It’s classy and represents my honest feelings at the same time.
I love me some Richard Cheese cover versions. He knows exactly where to take other people’s songs.
I'm in Enterprise IT, so mine would be the chorus from Bob Dylan's "Everything is Broken.".
It was my work phone ringtone when I still had a work phone
Mine is same song, but when everything except Jeff's guitar cuts out for the breakdown riff.
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The opening theme from the Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. that's currently being used in the Olympics.
Holy shit it is the Adventures of Briscoe County Jr. theme!
It's not some classic composer or something; it was literally written for that show and since it was such a good song and the show got cancelled after one season they totally snatched it up!
That first part of Crocodile Rock by Elton John. Really encapsulates the fact that I’m a silly willy.
Either the opening of take me out or a little ways in to pinball wizard if it has to be very short, if longer than the opening from people say I'm over the top
The bagpipe ditty the door plays in the SNL "All Things Scottish" skit. Wonderfully annoying.
Darth Vader's imperial march. It's also my ringtone...and does play when I enter a room occasionally...if I get a phone call as I enter.
Wii menu music
immigrant song by led zeppelin although it would get old pretty quick.
Yakkety Sax
"Counting all the assholes in the room, well, I'm definitely not alone"
Still Counting-Volbeat
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