Quick! You must—
this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2026
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I don't wanna be your enemy 😁
Don't worry, I am already my own worst enemy!
Girl, you're transgender.
Girl, you're -
Mine Bitcoin. Hold.
Bitcoin. 120k. 2025.
Bitcoin. One hundred…
You just blew it.
You buy 5 bitcoins for $450 each in 2016. It's what you can afford. You sell them for $10,000 each in 2018, timing it decently just before a bigger drop.
Congrats on your $48k.
Look at this youngin, turning 18 in 2016. Enjoy your knees and shoulders while you can.
2009-2010, you hear about this "Bitcoin" thing for the first time. You remember some old fart telling you about it years ago, but you had no idea what they were talking about and assumed they had mental problems. You decide to download it and start mining it, it doesn't hurt anything. It just uses your CPU to mine them. You let it run and quickly forget about it. Eventually, you get tired of it slowing your computer down. You have a few thousand coins by now, so you shut the miner down and put your wallet somewhere safe. Then you forget all about it, until about 2021...
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Don't preorder Cyberpunk.
I've never understood why anyone would pre-order anything digital. Were you afraid they would run out?
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Move to europe
Buy Bit Coin
first choice:
PURSUE NUCLEAR ENGINEERING
runner up:
YOU AIN'T MALE
third place:
ATTENTION DEFICIT: REAL
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Sell Bitcoin 2025
This tells myself to first buy Bitcoin so I have some to sell. Then gives me the year it was at the highest peak. By then I'll be intrigued and will be paying attention. I may not hit exactly March which was the highest point but I'll still be much better off.
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You a lesbian
It gets worse
Just be punk.
Don't do it
You’re a bottom.
Suck. My. Balls.
(He'd think it's fucking hilarious)
Transgender, AuDHD, (secret third thing. Or maybe just bitcoin)
..I'm sure my 18 year old ass would process this information in a calm and reasonable manner, lol
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Let's see...
don't sell bitcoin
don't sell doge
don't buy restaurant
don't date XYZ
don't date ABC
don't buy restaurant
don't quit place
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Buy All Bitcoin
It's-A-Me!
You need therapy.
Tossup between "buy Bitcoin now" and "you are autistic"
The first one, because, obviously. The second one, because I didn't find out until I was in my 30s. My lemmy account is older than my diagnosis.
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Read scholarship terms.
(Got fucked over majorly at DeVry because I trusted actual adults in authority positions for my guidance and wish I had the backbone back then to call them out on it.)
invest in bitcoin!!!!!!!
won't get better
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