Not the Onion

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For news articles which seem so much like satire that you're surprised they're not from The Onion.

Headlines must exactly match the articles'.
Posts must be genuine news articles, not satire, opinion, or tabloid pieces.
News must be current.
Popular political, religious, or social views are not Oniony, no matter how ridiculous you may think them.

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submitted 1 month ago by cm0002 to c/nottheonion@civilloquy.com

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[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The woman’s team must be so disappointed

[–] CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 month ago

Oh no, we missed cold McDonald’s and a bunch of of pervy old men.

The flava flav party is going to be lit.

[–] Zer0_F0x@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Brought to you by Carl's Jr

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Fuck you I'm eating!

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

USA Mens Hockey Team fucked up bigly and are now reviled

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Yeah, because he's six years old.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I just realized why he likes McDonald’s so much.

Tap for spoiler

His first name is in their last name.

[–] Mikina@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago

I'm certain he also honestly thinks it was named after him.