Off My Chest

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Being single vs not (thelemmy.club)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by hayyy@thelemmy.club to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Being single, I don’t have to worry about my boyfriend looking at and lusting over other women. Or not listening to me. Or judging me. Shouting at me. Calling me names. Threatening suicide. Or about his well being 🤷‍♀️. Keeping him interested…. The list goes on. Rethinking if being with him is really worth it…

But I don’t get cuddles, kisses, a person to go to and be with.

I always thought, “I need to focus on my friendships before getting with a guy” friends are the foundation. I wouldn’t be with me if I was a guy. I’m pretty boring. Not got anything going on. But Yh. Even though I’m currently single, I’ve not used my single time to work on my self and my life and improving it.

I do romanticise having an fp that I can run away with but. Maybe this is it.

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[–] Bluegrass_Addict@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

always focus on yourself first and foremost.. but I can't help but comment on;

Or judging me.

It appears like it's ok for you to judge them when they look at other women? acting is obvious frig no... but humans like visually pleasing people/things and one should never attempt to stop that. that's controlling. if they act, yeah... curb them lol

also;

Or about his well being yet you want someone that can be 'a person to go to' presumably when your well being isn't going great.

I'm more so pointing out some contradictions/one sided thinking you have portrayed. more about helping you grow as a person then anything. I hope you find happiness, even if you are Infact a real chicken. 🐔:P

[–] hayyy@thelemmy.club 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I’m not saying that “it’s ok” or makes me a good person that that’s the list but I’m saying these are things I don’t have to deal with/ think/worry about, being single.

Everyone gets jealous. Everyone judges their partner at some point on something. Im aware of the contradictions I made but it’s just the reality of things. We don’t like being with people for selfish reasons sometimes too. Sometimes I don’t want to have to concern myself with someone else’s well being and I also don’t like feeling judged or like I’m not 🎵 “the only girl in the world” to my partner (no matter how unrealistic that is!). Those things aren’t mutually exclusive but yes it is hypocritical to say that. Or selfish. But true.

And that’s what this post is about. The price you pay for being selfish. You don’t get the good parts if you don’t accept some things that could make you a better person for putting up with.

But often times it’s easier to just forget the whole thing because it’s too much.

[–] Sergio@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

But I don’t get cuddles, kisses, a person to go to and be with.

Reminds me of this comic. Two people are talking in a cafe, and one of them's like: "I need a boyfriend... one I can talk to, who listens to me and understands me who loves me and is always pleased to see me..." And Nemi's like: "You don't need a boyfriend. You need a dog."

[–] hayyy@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 day ago

Lol. I really wanted a dog recently…

[–] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 3 points 1 day ago

The only way I could justify a serious relationship is if I cut out either videogames or art completely. Or sleep 4 less hours a day. It's just too difficult an ask, theres not enough time for it.

[–] U7826391786239@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

sometimes i think about making an effort to meet people, maybe try for a relationship. then i remember i'm too busy doing whatever i want with all my spare time and money

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 1 points 1 day ago

I think its bad to think in terms of I need to be with someone in the generic. Live your life and get out and if you meet someone great but if not whelp at least your doing things (things being whatever you like clubs, concerts, bowling, whatever)

[–] ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago

And think! By pure cosmic chance You might even find a potential partner that doesn’t make you worry about your list!

Think of how happy you’ll be then

Don’t settle