this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
320 points (98.8% liked)

Programmer Humor

29741 readers
1146 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 13 points 9 hours ago
[–] xep@discuss.online 14 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

The worst DB in existence, not to defend Oracle, is blockchain.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Blockchain isn't a Database, and the worst one is AS400.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

A400 is at least relational.

MongoDB on the other hand...

All data is, or will become, relational.

[–] VibeSurgeon@piefed.social 44 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I think we all know it actually stands for One Rich Asshole Called Larry Ellison

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

To be honest, until now I always thought it was because of Oracles.

[–] ghostahh@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

Wind gusts are crazy today the way jokes are flying over heads

[–] bss03 17 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Oracle is not the worse DB in existence. They are a worse company than MS, but I'd much rather be talking to Oracle than MSSQL.

(My go-to is PostgreSQL, tho.)

[–] bort@sopuli.xyz 2 points 6 hours ago

MSSQLMS is goat tho

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 9 hours ago

"intelligence" <---> incompetence

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 56 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Hahaha this is cartoonishly evil, surely it can't be true!

Next you'll tell me Ellison invests in creepy life extension projects and gives an insane amount of money to post-fascist politicians!

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 9 hours ago

Don't forget the support for genocide.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Ah, that answers the question "when did oracle become so evil?"

[–] skarn@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 12 hours ago

Yeah, from the beginning

[–] xcaliber47@europe.pub 3 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

Hate to be the Devils advocate here, but Oracle is the only one (as far as i know) which provides a FREE usable server. FOREVER. Via OracleCloud

[–] qaz@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Until it randomly gets removed without warning

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 9 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] xcaliber47@europe.pub 8 points 10 hours ago

As far as i know, yes. Forever. Only 1 cloud provider that gives free usable server FOREVER (until they eventually change their policy or something)

[–] belated_frog_pants@beehaw.org 4 points 8 hours ago

Mmm saas is not forever nor are loss leaders.