Peanut butter and
this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2026
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If you're uncircumcised you can try a variation of this where you put peanut butter on your knob and then jam on your shaft then when you pull your foreskin over it you've got yourself a pb&j eggroll. If you're circumcised then I'd suggest some foreskin regeneration therapy so you can try making pb&j shlongrolls in a few years. No one should miss out.
Please provide an example that fits in the Red/Blue overlap.
I have a folder of shitpost diagrams that is way too small and I appreciate you helping me add to it.
I'm here to help
The fact that this exists means that god is either oblivious to the horrors taking place on its universe or that he is impotent to change the events taking place on it
I used to be friends with that bird but he kept going on and on about his opinions on TV shows. Like the family guy/Pinky and the brain crossover episode where Brain and Brian swap places and Brian gets drunk and tries to put lipstick on pinky but the lipstick is his dong. That goddamn bird was convinced that Seth MacFarlane and Steven Spielberg deserved to be charged under archaic obscenity laws for that one. I mean it's probably the dumbest goddamn episode of TV I've ever seen but let's not bring back 1950s broadcast standards over it.
... That's not an actual episode... Right?
It was in Burkina Faso but I don't think it ever aired in the United States. If you use a VPN you should still be able to catch it
Drugs are bad mkay.
Which ones though? Acetaminophen? Caffeine? Carbon monoxide?
That last one.
You forgot another possibility:
He is neither oblivious nor impotent, yet finds this extremely funny.
Or that he approves. Don't kink shame.
He could also be aware and have the power to change it, but doesn't care.
In which case he's not a loving god 🤷
Yes, he would need to be stupid, powerless, or both to also be loving.
Nah, as god is all-know able he has the deep knowledge of all the kinks and has experienced them fully. God's into this.
The real gold is always in the comments.
someone get me some nitric acid we need to hide the gold
:(
I'm circumcised. Last girl I was with said, "so you're not circumcised?" While handling it. Makes you think. Makes me think, anyway.
Honestly she probably just wanted to make you feel better because you can't make her knobroll snacks.
Next time just tell her to go pick carrots to sell at the local farmers market. It's probably a better use of her time anyway.
Angry upvote
:: this account has been blocked::
lol jk
I’ve tried, but I can’t unsee my initial identification of filled nappy and used tampons.
I find this funny because I actually did once have a peanut butter jelly sex sandwich with someone.
Long story short, she dared me to, we used shower curtains over the bed... and floor... and took our sweet and sticky time showering off afterward.
... didn't think to uh, make any pictures or anything of it, fortunately or unfortunately.
So uh, good memories from this image, lol.
what exactly does peanut butter jelly sex entail? asking for a friend
One person gets a good deal of their nude body covered in peanut butter.
The other gets jam.
(Probably a good idea to shave and trim yourselves a bit before hand, your call though)
You can start in little dollops on specific areas, neckline, tip of an ear, maybe tip of the nose if you're feeling kinda funny... other areas... and then uh... clean them up... as if it was edible...
... or you can just get right down to being bread and making the sandwich.
Or you can just slowly discover all new kinds of flavors and mouthfeels you've not likely tried before, in... really any position you'd like.
Just make sure to keep the actual uh ... lock and key, make sure they are well good and clean before you try to unlock any doors.
Don't wanna end up with a yeast infection or any other kind of infection.
Its basically impossible to totally keep all your hair 100% clean, (unless you both use hair nets i guess maybe?), hence the thorough and rigorous and lengthy shower afterward.
Do let me know if this piques your friend's ... appetite.
EDIT:
Also of course do a prior determination of both party's preference for chunky or smooth, flavor of jelly or jam.
And... probably avoid or significantly alter the concept if anybody is allergic to nuts.
EDIT 2:
Also, pick a soundtrack, or two, before hand, especially if you have close neighbors.
We went with Ratatat.
Does this not inevitably result in a yeast infection for ... Someone?
Also, never met anyone else who could drop the name "Ratatat." Badass.
I did try and explain how to avoid potential infections in an edit... before any insertions, make sure the involved areas, and a certain radius around them are thoroughly cleaned off of any uh, food product.
Like, clean up the whole area around people's thighs and groin before you go 'in' to anything, for the gal, probably just don't ever get any food product too directly close to where it could end up inside anywhere that has its own kind of sensitive self-regulating environment.
Sort of like with 'never go ass to mouth'... either eat the gal out before food stuffs get into your mouths, or, have the other party just actually brush their teeth.
We had a number of disposable and non disposable towels and such on hand, beyond uh, orally prepping each other. Along with the pre prep of shower curtains, we put all our clothes into an unused garbage bag before we started... we realized that we'd only be able to lie or stand on or press against things or surfaces that we'd pre setup a shower curtain over, otherwise we'd leave a vaguely human shaped pb&j blotch on it...
...we did a significant amount of preplanning to account for just how generally messy this likely would be.
Then, the thorough shower afterward really is needed to get stuff off of the rest of your bodies, totally out of each other's hair and such. You... kind of actually do need both people present to help the other get their hair as clean as possible, as gently as possible. If somebody has longer hair, probably tie it into a bun or ponytail or something, do your best not to intentionally palm or grab it.
Now, I cannot with any confidence speak to how well this kind of procedure would like... generally work with other people following it, repeating 10s or 100s of instances of it.
YMMV, there may be factors I am not remembering or considering that could be relevant.
Like obviously we both did not have any STDs, had been fairly recently screened, weren't fucking anybody else in the interim.
Also, though I don't think either of us knew it at the time... pretty sure we're both autistic, hence the... mutual attention to details and contingency planning.
But anyway, I can say that the one time that we did this, nobody had any kind of infection afterward, yeast or otherwise.
As to Ratatat?
Perks of being a hipster, I guess, lol?
... I suppose you could say its a matter of taste.
Fair enough! Thanks for the detail!
Hey some of us listen to Ratatat fairly often, wondering why the hell they had to stop making good music
I haven't listened to them in years, but I enjoyed what I heard. (I actually made a post on lemmy about how the first time I heard Ratatat I was driving past Ararat Rd.)
I intended no criticism of the musician, just surprise at seeing them mentioned.
And... probably avoid or significantly alter the concept if anybody is allergic to nuts.
Ain't nobody allergic to DEEZ NUTS!
Also, pick a soundtrack, or two, before hand, especially if you have close neighbors.
It’s peanut butter jelly time!
pretty obvious. one peanut butter, one jelly, sex.
might want an epipen just in case.