Ask Lemmy

I'd say hello, welcome to [date] and offer him a glass of water.

Ask them how they learned to speak English.

The mummy would be tired of me. I would want to sit down and talk to them mummy, ask it all about life during it's era, hygiene, technology, religion, sex, etc. I would want to know how it died, who it's family were.

So many questions.

Run away. And ideally try to lock it into a room on my way out.

Look for the hidden cameras

Neat

Okay first thing is to get him calm. Sit him down, get him some water, ask him the last thing he remembers, and carefully explain the situation. Probably have to be careful with telling him what year it is - he’s going to have questions about his loved ones that I couldn’t answer. Best course of action then is to have that ticket person call in a curator and a licensed therapist, and just let him talk and collect himself until they arrive.

I ask "are you my mummy?" and then keel over laughing as I get.. eaten to death or whatever it is mummies do :3

Ask if he wants to smoke a joint.

Most likely I’d shit my whole ass

One thing’s for sure is I’d make sure the horses were on my side of the river.

Try learning the language.

I'd look around to see if Rachel Weisz is anywhere close.

Since my reaction when someone robbed me at gunpoint was to ask them if it was a real gun, I would probably ask the mummy how they learned English and go from there.

If they just seem confused and not hostile then we are gonna have a long conversation until the guard comes to boot me out when it closes.

There was one time I was sleeping and my ex's dog woke me up barking. It really startled me, like I was actually terrified, and without thinking, literally tackled the dog. Always thought I was a runner, but might end up attacking the mummy.

Knock it down, stomp it, then pee on it.

If you don't fully desecrate the corpse it'll just keep coming back to life.

Reevaluate my worldview and look for an employee. I'd have no idea what they're saying as I speak neither coptic nor greek

Soil myself.

Get a ride home and schedule an appointment with the shrink.

Hope heat throb Brendon Fraser is nearby.

First I would be taken aback, I didn't know my mummy was dead, and then taken aback again that she came back to life.

Touch cloth

I wake up from the nightmare.

"Mummy mia"

Then #Luigi its ass

Head home and contact my therapist for a emergency meeting

Well i don't how it would behave other than what i saw in the Mummy movies so if it's Billy Zane you'll get sucked to death and if it's a female mummy you'll get sucked off to death so either way it'll suck so i'd prefer the female mummy and try bang it before being sucked off to death.

As long as he didn't make any startling movements towards me, I'd help him out. It would be so cool to have a mummy friend. Perhaps tell him about how far civilization has come.

Wonder why I'm being pranked and where the cameras are.

Ancient Egyptians had no conception of English.

Get a nosebleed from all the dust

Run.

Showing it how it was made years before getting mummified