Ask Lemmy

After a breakup it was good for fucking around (literally) but if you want something meaningful and serious, go for shared interests. Go talk to other people slacklining if you're into that. Visit skate parks, art exhibitions, tournaments you like.

It's crazy the amount of people in this thread who found love when they weren't actively searching for love.

I've never had luck dating, I seemed to attract messy alcoholic women where I could tell why they were single. Not that I'm without fault as a person, but that's who I met with online dating in my 30s.

I've had heaps of luck getting together with women I've known for a year+ through hobbies and interest groups where we got to spend time together getting to know each other without the pressures of judging each other as a pre-partner.

Being a trans girl with pretty privelage tm and just hanging out in spaces for us had gotten me enough dates tbh

Been moving country/city a few times. Tried to make sure to always do stuff in my free time where there would be girls around. Ended up on quite a few dates!

Dating is so much fun. I love meeting strangers in this weird pseudosexual tension when you don't know eachother and you don't know what's gonna happen.

Even bad dates were fun experiences in terms of meeting interesting people. And if you realize that being happy alone is better than being in a bad relationship, a failed date is no problem.

I had met my wife on a dating app in 2021. I wouldn't recommend it and I am pretty sure she wouldn't either.

In short, it was just pure luck that we have matched. And it was also incredibly lucky that we had many things in common considering both of our backgrounds. And it is not like same taste in art, media, food. More of experience.

My reason is that even if me and my wife found each other, chances were close to 0. And on the way there we got both hurt many times on these apps. These apps are designed to keep you on the app, not to effectively find a match. They will make you miss good potential matches in favor or less good ones so you keep scrolling and eventually paying for premium.

You really have more chances to find a mate just living out there. Join interest clubs. Attend events. Socialize a bit more. That way your chances are thousand times higher than on these apps.

I was "in the dating pool" from ages 13 to 23 and then I met my now wife. One thing I've noticed, throughout cultures and ages, is that beautiful women will easily fall madly in love with a man who's responsible, emotionally stable (at least relatively), secure in their decision making, comforting and funny, even in the absence of big money/attractiveness.

Just don't really meet anyone I'm even curious to know better lately.

No woman ever wanted me. I don't blame them. I'm a perpetual loser.

I love dating later in life as opposed to dating when I was younger. People my age are usually much smarter and well rounded than when we were in our 20s. If they have kids, they're usually grown enough to not be annoying. I love when I hear short fat older freshly divorced dudes complain. Like homie, there is a reason you are getting the responses you do on the apps. Although I am incredibly tall and in decent shape, so ymmv.