This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/chelseatheus on 2026-02-08 01:10:37+00:00.
Obligatory this didn't happen today but I still think about it.
I live in an apartment where pigeons are fucking everywhere. There was this one pigeon who constantly sat on the ledge of the window by my bedroom and cawed and shit all over the window.
I got fed up one day and started banging on the window with my fist to try and scare it away. But we live in a city, and this mf didn't give a fuck.
I'm starting to really hit it hard and my partner says, "you're gonna break the window". I laugh and continue while saying "no I'm not" (I'm very small and weak). And suddenly the glass shatters.
This pigeon still hasn't moved. I'm worried about it getting cut, so I start slowly trying to remove the glass from my hand and on top of the pigeon.
There's nothing around at this moment except for a dildo next to my bed. So I pick it up and gently push off the pigeon.
Tl;Dr I pushed a pigeon off my window ledge with a dildo after punching through the window.
No pigeons were harmed during this event