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You die.
You ascend to the pearly gates. Saint Peter stands there, or the Islamic equivalent, whatever, holding a book with your record. He flips through it.
“Let’s see. Beat his wife and kids, no problem. Stole massive amounts of money, okay. Generally racist, shouldn’t be an issue. Killed a man in cold blood. It was a Jew, so no great loss. Wait. You used pork paintballs? Are you fucking kidding me?”
A hole opens beneath you. You fall straight to hell.
"I can forgive the wifebeating, the drunkenness, the rape, but the pork paintballs‽ To the deepest pits with you! Insha'Allah, motherfucker!"
/j, obviously
One man's religious stupidity is another man's business opportunity.
I know nothing about paintball, but I feel like there has to be vegan paintballs.
Soy beans. A tag doesn't count if you catch with your mouth.
Marbles
Painball.
Damn, you play for keeps
I love how this goes along with another reply saying vegans are too weak to play. Shit, man, I'd like to try paintball but if I'm forced to use marbles then yeah I guess I am too weak lmao
It was just medieval food safety to not eat pork in hot countries. They really need to update their software.
The origin of Abrahamic dietary laws is not certain. There is no obvious benefit in terms of hygiene, also not in ancient times (they long predate "medieval" times). Keep in mind that poultry carries a significant risk of salmonella poisoning.
It has been suggested that the origin might have simply been that pigs are viewed as unclean due to their own diet including carrion. Another speculated reason is that rulers might have wanted to promote poultry due to it being a more economical way of raising livestock.
I am thinking of a Dollop episode that discussed pigs in early New York City. They were the trash clean up before there were people dedicated to the job. They were allowed to just run free and scrounge whatever offal they could find. It could have been less that pigs were unclean, rather pigs kept things clean. If people ate all the pigs, there would be corpses and fecal matter lying around for extended periods of time which would cause disease.
isnt mostly pork tapeworm they worry about.
Why would they mention the cloven hoof as a district identifier of haram? Why wouldn't they mention the cleanliness, if that is supposed to be the reason for the ban?
Hindu paintballers be like
Literally 1857
Yeah wait, can we not make paintballs with...no animal parts?
Yeah, that's kinda buried in the lead.
"Hey, just FYI, all your paintballs have pork fat in them" would be a more startling revelation.
I’m guessing the shell is made from gelatin or something? Which is made from animal bones. I can’t think of what else would be made from animal.
Well it does say gelatin in the text so
lol damn it does. I quickly skimmed it but my brain skipped that part.
Someone needs to explain to me why there’s ANY animal product in a paintball in the first place.
Paintballs are made of gelatin. Gelatin is often just collagen and collagen is basically connective tissue.
