Ask Lemmy

For when it's real bad: The Sad Bastard Cookbook

Veggies + pasta + sauce

Beans + veggies + sauce

Various forms of potato

Carrots and hummus

Usual stuff re: food banks, community pantries, etc. However -

I've been a member of Community Supported Agriculture farms for a couple decades now. People pay at the start of the year to buy a share of the farm's produce over the growing season, and the farmer operates secure in the knowledge that his farm isn't dependent on banks or a good harvest. CSA members usually get about 3/4 of a bushel per week, plus pick-your-own.

I'm bringing this up because some CSAs offer work shares, and this would be the right time if year to apply for one. It's a small commitment of hours each week, say, 4-5 hours a week over the course of the season, and you get a full share of the produce to take home. I don't know if a work-share CSA exists in your area, it if you'd be willing to do it, but it can supply a pretty decent percentage of your food if it's something you're interested in, especially if you make and freeze dishes or ingredients, or can, pickle or dehydrate produce.

Lentils, my friend. They don't need soaking. Aside from soups and stews here's a fun recipe:

Find some wheat gluten, could be in the baking aisle, maybe in the "ethnic" aisle with Asian stuff as it's used for making seitan. I got some from a health food store where I felt like I was carrying explosives as I strolled past bourgeois folks and their toddler on a leash.

• 2 parts cooked lentils (I like red lentils, could substitute chickpeas), puréed and cooled
• 1 part wheat gluten.
• 1 part breadcrumbs

Add water or broth sparingly until you can knead it all into a rough dough. Spices to taste.

Roll into "meat"balls or burgers. Bonus: gluten is protein.

Fry or bake.

A second tip, frozen veggies and fruit retain a lot of their nutrients. Best to buy a kilogram or two of frozen berries in winter rather than a wee clamshell of tasteless berries flown in from Peru for the same price.

Third, tofu is often cheaper in Asian groceries than in supermarkets. Cube it, toss it in salt, white pepper, and cornstarch, fry until golden brown. The cornstarch gives it a good crispy layer. Mix soy sauce, oyster sauce (available with no actual oysters as ingredient too), white sugar, stir fry veg of choice. Serve over rice.

I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation. There's some great suggestions here already that I am also saving for myself, and I though it high time to talk about our national dish; stamppot.

Stamppot is a dutch family of dishes that are very simple to make. In essence, it is boiled potatoes, mixed with vegetables and mashed. A little bit of butter/oil to make it smoother. Traditionally eaten with small pieces of bacon mashed through and sausage on the side, but you can also add spices like rosemary + thyme, nutmeg, turmeric + cumin, or even cheese to bring it to taste.

Typical vegetables/combos:

• kale
• carrots + onions (1-1 ratio)
• sauerkraut
• lambs lettuce + 1 hard-boiled egg
• spinach But many vegetables can be used. Some vegetables need to be cooked with the potatoes (the kale, carrots, and onions) and some added after boiling and removing the water (sauerkraut, labs lettuce, spinach). You can even combine vegetables if you wish. Honestly, the sky is the limit.

yes.

ditch the frozen pizza and make your own dough. it tastes way better and is much cheaper.

6 cups of flour

3 cups of water

1-1/2 tablespoons of yeast

1 1/2 tablespoons spoons of salt

mix it all in a bowl, cover it and let it sit for about an hour. once it’s risen, put it in the fridge. it will be ready to use the next day, but it will keep for a few weeks.

i like to make pies with 450 grams of dough, it makes for a good 15” pizza. i use tomato sauce from fruit that we grow, but ive heard greet things about san marizano tomato sauce in a can.

i have lots more to say, but i don’t want to type it all out if you’re thinking ‘yeah, fuck that guy - i’m never gonna do that’, so if you want more info, lmk.

Beans & Rice. Sauteed vegetables, pan fried tofu, on rice. Stir fry noodles with any veg you have on hand. Soup is also a great way to use food in the fridge, I like to use Miso and add noodles.

Buy a bunch of silicon containers or boxes that are both freezer and microwave safe. Take the biggest pot you have and make a massive portion of food. Eat 2-3 times, freeze the rest in individual meal portions. Repeat 1-2 times and you have a massive storage of cheap, healthy, delicious food.

Suitable dishes:

• Indian curry
• Thai curry
• Japanese curry
• any other curry, just experiment
• soups
• pasta Bolognese etc.

Big upgrade for your nutrition and kind of fun to cook such massive portions, while also allowing you to be lazy 9/10 days

I'm sorry you're in the situation you're in. You deserve better. I hope you're finding good options from others, here's my submission:

Vegetarian/vegan option: A bowl of rice with black beans on top. A healthy spoonful or two of sofrito. Some diced jalapenos (I like to briefly cook them in a pan with a little oil, but maybe don't do that if you don't know what you're getting into).

Toast a few corn tortillas (I use the oil from the jalapenos, gives the tortillas extra spice). You can toast them as short or as long as you want, I like it when they have a slight crisp but are still foldable.

Use the tortillas to scoop up the food in the bowl. It's really best if you skip a spoon and just use the tortillas/your hands. Trust me on this, it adds to the experience. Plus you can't use your phone or anything because you're using your hands to eat, and it's best to focus on your food while eating instead of a device.

I prepare the rice ahead of time, but you could also just microwave a thing of minute rice. Canned black beans because I don't have the mental energy for dried beans. A rice cooker makes cooking rice so easy I never buy minute rice, but that also would be an expense you might not be able to spare. Honestly depending on how tight money is, if you buy your rice and beans dry you'll save a bunch of money.

I ate that every day for about two years due to a medication making to hard to stomach a lot of foods. Never got old, still regularly make it because it's easy, filling, and healthy.

Another option: fried rice. Bag of frozen veggies, rice, egg, you can throw in other random stuff. MSG is cheap and takes it to the next level. I'm a goblin, so I'll go to the Asian market and just try different savory sauces. Maybe don't do that.

Bulgur wheat and whatever veggies you have on hand + whatever spices you fancy.

Throw in 2 cups or so of the wheat, add your spices and the harder vegg (like carrots or mushrooms). Add water so it's about 2/3 of the pot (you can add more if it's not enough when cooking). Boil. Add softer vegg (like broccoli) after it's reduced some if you want, or throw it in at the start if you don't mind it falling apart. I usually add an egg once it's cooked, but it's not necessary; I just need the protein.

Sorry I don't have anything more specific, I do all my cooking by feel.

AFAICT I can only get bulgur wheat at one bulk store in my city, none of the 'big box' stores carry it. You might also try smaller shops that cater to middle eastern communities.

Get a pressure cooker and a bread maker from a thrift store or Facebook marketplace. Your bread will be cheap and plentiful. Get some herbs and veggies to spice them up. I'm a big fan of rosemary, garlic and onion and then dipping it in olive oil with some cheese on the side.
Or make pizza dough dough setting and make a quick pizza or even bread pizza

I adapt what I make to what is cheap to purchase at the time. Sometimes it is lots of eggs and quiche, sometimes it is specific veggies, stuffing them with rice and cheese and lentils and baking them is nice.

And to finish off here is my ancestors depression dish which I swear by.
Eggs tomato and cheese:
Saute onion, and green pepper or celery until sweated, add salt, pepper and thyme
Add a large can of tomatoes or 4-5 large tomatoes cut into chunks and let simmer until liquid
Reduce heat and add a soft cheese (cheddar spread or american cheese works well cause it melts well | generous 1/2 cup
Once melted mix in slowly 6 scrambled eggs and raise heat a little until it cooks and thickens stirring constantly.
Serve on bread.

Mirepoix: 2 parts onion, 1 part carrot, 1 part celery. Diced up and cooked gently with oil and a little butter until soft.

Not the fastest while you're doing it, but preparing a big batch in advance, freezing and then starting your meals with it will give you a good flavour base to start pretty much whatever your making.

The ingredients are very cheap and they keep well. Make big batches, portion and freeze so you always have some on hand. If you're making pasta or beans or anything saucy, add the cooked mirepoix first and you've got good flavour and saved yourself a lot of time on the night.

Sub green bell peppers for the carrot and you've got cajun holy trinity if you do a lot of that style of cooking like jambalayas (which are also very cheap).

add some mayo and a raw egg to the ramen spices, then throw some chopped broccoli and the water and noodles

cheap, good and filling

Buy cheap basics: dried beans & lentils, rice, potatoes, pasta & whatever veg is cheapest - frozen if fresh is too expensive. Use onions, garlic, salsa and spices to make it tasty. Falafels are easy and cheap to make. Dal is also good. Farmers/Shepard's Pie (can use veggie ground round for cheaper and vegetarian). Having a prep day is good to make chili or veg stew or other casseroles that can be portioned out over the week. Making more portions at once is cheaper over time. Oatmeal with cinnamon and a tiny bit of (real) maple syrup is a healthy go to breakfast.

My tip is rice for calories, veggies for nutrition, dry beans/chicken for protein. Frozen veggies can get very cheap.

Potatoes are also super good and allow for a lot of variety. To make something tasty like mashed it does require butter and milk.

Side tip for rice, rice cookers are pretty cheap and save you plenty of time. You just toss in rice, water and salt in the correct quantities and good rice comes out. You can also make whole meals with it by putting some oil and frozen veggies.

For taste spices are key and big quantities of spice don't cost much per dish. It takes some experimenting but once you get a hang of it it becomes very nice and easy. Garlic/onion powder, cayenna pepper, salt and pepper improve almost every dish.

One caveat is that seed oils are just not healthy so if the budget allows for olive oil, butter or coconut it's better.

If you're boiling rice, you can add an equal serving count of lentils to the same pot and increase the amount of water, it cooks for about the same length of time and then you have two macronutrients in one, all you need is some vegetables for a full balanced meal. Peas and carrots are easy, or broccoli is good and adds some iron which is important for vegetarians.

Also, peanut butter sandwiches are a good cheap option for handling cravings. Opt for whole grain bread if it's in your budget. Real whole grain, not white bread with just enough whole grains thrown in so they could include it on the label. The bread itself should be brown. It's more filling and has more nutrients.

A box of Zatarans jambalaya, whatever vegan sausage you like (I am not veg, so I use kielbasa), and a can of pinto or black beans. Just throw them all in the pot and cook according to directions. I also throw in some frozen bell peppers near the end.

Speaking of frozen bell peppers- grab a handful of those, some small diced frozen potatoes, frozen chopped onion if you're feeling fancy. Or raw. Both are fine. Toss all in a bowl and throw in some oil, onion powder, cumin, chili powder, and some paprika, along with salt and pepper (or taco seasoning). Mix well, bake according to potato package instructions. When it comes out, fry up an egg how you prefer, throw some cheese on top and hit it with a little sour cream. Perfection. And comes together in like 10-15 minutes.

Breakfast burritos are cheap and easy. Or breakfast sandwiches.

Coconut curry lentils over rice is a favorite (I use the recipe budget bytes has online). Rice and beans will be your best friend cuz you can have so much variety.

Cheap and quick:

• Polenta

Cheap:

• Soups
• Salads
• Fried rice
• Bean chili
• Gnocchi
• Baked potatoes

Quick:

• Sandwiches
• Liver steak
• Wraps

Tips: Buy things butcheries throw away and make broth with them (scoop out fat when cold and use in place of butter or oil, use the broth to make soup). Make your own mayo. Buy vegetables you normally wouldn't when they are cheap, and figure out a recipe for them, or pickle them in jars! Get away with throwing as little away as you can, make stock with scraps (make sure they are clean of any dirt). Walk and take note of any plants or trees yielding edible fruits, nuts and leaves, take note of when it's best to harvest them, you never know what you have until you start looking. Get a small planter (or cut one out of a large plastic container) and try growing some plants from seeds you'd normally throw away, feed them kitchen scraps and leaves, it may take some time to get going, but it's worth it for the nutrition and freebies.

Most soups take time to cook only by boiling for a while. Preparation usually is quite fast.

My wife does this cheap and fast soup:

• Cut potatoes in big chunks
• Cut carrots in big chunks
• Onions the same way
• Add garlic by taste
• Meat in same big chunks, preferably beef
• add 2 bouillon cubes, salt and pepper by taste, bay leaves and cloves if you have any.
• boil for a while, maybe like 20-30 mins.
• Enjoy.

Big chunks as in approx 3cm by 3cm cubes. It doesn't make much time to cut veggies like this. I can do this soup alone in less than an hour.

Also, suggest to get rice cooker for a perfect side dish to any meat. Rice is healthy AF and with rice cooker is super easy to prepare to a perfect state. Also also, maybe get a slow cooker. You can throw food inside, set timer to start cooking and leave it til you need food to be done. Or pressure cooker if you want to speedup cooking.

In other words, invest in your kitchen gear. Cooking doesn't take much time and effort if you have gear and tools needed to cook food. Good knives and kitchenware will save you money in a long run.

if you have a rice cooker you can cook lentils with the rice and they are so small it cooks right up. Can add any veg or spices you like and the key with the rice cooker is the harder something is to cook the smaller you need to cut it up. I know you said veg but you can throw raw chicken in if its cut up small enough without poisoning yourself. I put that in just to showcase the cutting things ups small. You just can't beat beans and rice for macronutrients vs cost. If you want to go for a superfood that is not to expensive buckwheat is amazing.

If you've got eggs and leftover rice, mix some eggs, rice, and sweet chili sauce. The eggs and chili sauce are the most expensive part of the meal, most likely.

Just scramble 1-2 eggs and then mix in some rice and heat through. Then pour into a bowl and add some of the sauce.

Don't know whether you consider eggs vegetarian, though.

Otherwise, if you have tortillas and salsa, heating something like a can of black beans and corn and then adding a little salsa is something I've done. Salsa, bean, and corn wraps. Not the best thing ever, but it was what it was.

Rice, beans, and some frozen peppers and onions are an easy, no cut base to start a meal. Toss what else you want and you can have a good tasting ready to make one pot meal a few times a week.

rice
canned kidney beans (you need a good amount of beans to rice to get a complete protein profile)
vegetable stock (i use powdered which seems cheapest)
ground coriander seeds
ground cumin
ground chipotle or any chili
limes or vinegar
shallots or onions, hot chili (if you like it hotter)
garlic and or garlic powder
tomato paste
any oil
salt, pepper
fresh coriander and parsley if you can afford it (i use frozen parsley)

a large pan or pot with airtight lid (this is necessary to steam the rice)

drain beans
wash rice if you are concerned about arsenic or dirt (i sometimes leave it dry to get a bit of toast on the rice)
make about 0.5L of vegetable broth
chop onions and garlic, chop chili (de-seed for less heat)
heat pan with oil, add powdered spices (not the garlic powder) until fragrant,
add onions and garlic, chili, stir as needed
add tomato paste (about 1 tablespoon)
after about a minute add rice (stir until a bit toasted)
add beans, stir
cover with broth (about 0.5 - 1 cm above rice) add water if necessary
add parsley, garlic powder, salt, pepper, dash of vinegar (if not using limes)
cover pan, turn heat to lowest (if that burns on the bottom you can also turn off heat)
cook 20-25 minutes (do not open the lid)
near the end roughly chop fresh coriander
turn off heat, open lid, gently stir
close lid and let it sit for 5 minutes (not strictly necessary, YMMV)
if you like it tangy add some more vinegar to taste, add salt if necessary
serve with limes and fresh parsley

a very cheap meal that can be upgraded (fresh coriander, limes) if you have some money left over.

for non-vegetarian experiment with lard instead of oil and chicken stock.

Hoover Stew: Elbow macaroni, can of corn, can of diced tomatoes, sausage/hotdog. I'd start looking up depression era foods and learning how to cook. It stretches your dollars further.

I use a girl called jack for cheap healthy food. If in doubt get beans or lentils, frozen veg, rice and spices. I eat a lot of lentil curry or chilli, bean goulash or chilli and Buddha bowls (normally chickpeas, rice, spinach and roast sweet potato).

Buy a super cheap rice cooker, its life changing! Throw some rice with frozen or canned veggies of choice, added some beams and you got a nice delicious and nutritious meal. There's lots of variation you can do with that.

cheapest meals you'll ever find.

• beans
• rice
• seasonings
• ramen

also if you can, grow your own veggies. yellow summer squash dries really well and can be used in lots of dishes.

winter squash like butternut stay good for 6-10 months in the right conditions and can literally fill a meal.

carrots are easy to grow and high in nutrients, they can be stored for several months as well.

make sure you keep all your scraps and reintroduce them back into the soil as fertilizer. I would dry them and grind them in a blender along with egg shells, a bit of coffee grounds, dried fruit peels (like banana, orange, apple, etc). sprinkle over soil and mulch over that(could be dried leaves or hardwood mulch), and water.

if you grow eggplant, the leaves can be dried and boiled to create a weak insecticide since the plant is related to tobacco.

fight powdery mildew with vinegar and water. A 1/10 solution weak should be good enough.

if squash bugs or other pests are a problem, get a torch and burn them and the eggs off your plants. if you're vigilant when they first show up, you won't have to work so hard later. remember, the point is to "cook" them, not cremate your plant.

if space is a concern, grow things that crawl. greenbeans, peas, tomatoes, acorn squash, yellow squash, zucchini. all can be grown from pots on trellis. make sure they get plenty of light, water, and nutrients. careful with some squash though, they can crossbreed if they're in the same family.

think of it this way. you spend $10-20 on heirloom seeds and take the seeds from your best harvest every year, you'll never have to buy those vegetables again. $10-20 dollars, for a lifetime of food.

One of my favorite cheap master recipes, parts all by weight:

• 1 part protein (meat, beans, whatever you have)
• 2 parts veggies
• 2 parts rice/pasta/similar dry carb
• 4 parts water

If you're using eggs as the protein, it's 1:1:1:2 instead. 1:2:2:4 comes out not as good. One of my personal favorites is spam+frozen peas&carrots mix+rice with a bullion cube in the water.

The basic instructions is "Put everything in a pot, boil until the ride is cooked", but there are lots of things you can do in the middle of that. Toasting the rice in fat, browning the meat, etc. He if you quadruple the water it also works as a soup recipe, just don't add the rice until you're ready to eat it. Rice expands a lot, and you will end up with a savory rice pudding. Edible, but 0/10 experience. If you break up the noodles in the top ramen packs they come out basically the same as the canned chicken noodle noodles though. I have yet to run into a combination of things I didn't like with this.

Spices also help a lot with cooking. Even just a good season salt (I use Tony Chachere's) makes a huge difference, and they're usually like $5 for a canister that'll last a year or two.

Bullion cubes in rice dishes. The store brand ones are usually $0.10 each, maybe $0.15, and they make a huge difference in rice.

Another note: Biscuits are cheap and easy. If you don't have milk, you can use water, just add a little extra fat, and a little bit of sugar to the dough. They don't come out the same, but it's close enough. Gravy is great for extra flavor that's cheap, and not as bad for you as people think. Rice and gravy is great.

Oh shoot also, you said vegetarian so I didnt include this but you could probably make it work.

Okonomiyaki:

Its practically fish flavored pancake batter filled with cabbage and other veggies fried on a griddle. Invented in japan after WW2 to use scraps and make them tasty.
I make mine with bacon or cheap slices of ham on bottom but you can skip that, but I would still crack an egg into the center.

If you look around at street food post WW2 in the world you will find a lot of it is cheap and tasty and with a globalized market easier to get the ingredients/recipes.

Here’s a recipe for dal I use, I eat it with a store bought naan bread. You can add whatever protein you like.

🛒 Ingredients

• 1 cup of red lentils
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• ¼ teaspoon of turmeric
• ½ onion
• 8 cloves of garlic
• ⅓ stick of butter
• ½ tomato
• 1 green chili
• 1 teaspoon of red chili powder
• 1 teaspoon of coriander powder
• 1 teaspoon of fenugreek leaves
• 1 teaspoon of cumin powder

📖 Recipe

1. Pre-soak 1 cup of red lentils for 1-2 hours.
2. Boil 4 cups of water and add the lentils, 1 teaspoon of salt and ¼ teaspoon of turmeric.
3. Leave the lentils on a medium to low heat for 20-25 minutes to make the Dal.
4. Take it off the heat and start making the Tarka.
5. Finely dice ½ an onion, 8 cloves of garlic, slice 1 green chilli and chop ½ a medium tomato..
6. Add ⅓ stick of butter to a pan and heat it up on a medium to low heat.
7. Add the diced garlic into a pan and fry it until lightly golden.
8. Add the onion and green chilli into the pan.
9. Next, add the ½ tomato into the pan.
10. Add 1 teaspoon of red chilli powder, 1 teaspoon of coriander powder, 1 teaspoon of fenugreek leaves and 1 teaspoon of cumin powder.
11. Give it all a good stir in.
12. Pour in ¼ cup of water.
13. Add some fresh coriander to the Tarka.
14. Pour the Tarka into the Dal.
15. Stir it in and leave to cook on medium to low heat for a few minutes.
16. Add in another cup of water if it needs thinning.

We make this black bean soup pretty regularly at my house. I still can't believe how good it is for how simple it is to cook!

ETA: I crib quite a lot of recipes from eatingwell these days. This chickpea casserole is quite good, too.

Any tinned beans are ready to eat, just rinse and heat a little (a minute in the microwave, give or take). I'm super time poor, So lately I've been mixing a few varieties of beans, with some just defrosted peas and corn, and some dip and corn chips, if im feeling fancy. Damn it's yummo!

I use about 1/2 cup peas corn, microwave for 30 sec to 1 min, in a little water, drain.

Pour in 1/3c (odd) of whatever beans you like (I go with black beans, chick peas, and lentils)

Microwave 30 seconds.

Add lemon juice to taste. Pour on whatever dressing you want for flavour. (Tzatziki, 2tbsp or vinegarette, or salsa, endless options)

Then you can use it like a chunky salsa / dip, eat with corn chips. Or as is.

Or eat with rice or noodles.

I have at times added cheese or a chicken schnitzel.

Mix in a pack of taco seasoning with brown rice and it tastes like tacos without needing the meat. Tho rice takes a bit to cook

Cowboy chicken. Recipes are all over online, but I love it, usually presented as a one skillet meal so easy, and very filling!

Cut up chicken, coat in chili powder and smoked paprika, then sear. Dump in corn, beans, veggies and simmer for a bit. That’s it.

Find your local asian market, buy ramen noodles in bulk. Chop up some veggies, saute them in the pan before you make the noodles. Crack an egg in there. You can buy bulk mushroom powder for cheap too, put that in there. Go to your local grocery and buy the cheapest meat, slice it up and throw that in before the veggies.

Is it going to be culinarily coherent? Maybe, maybe not. Are you going to eat it? Probably. Is it going to hit your macros? More or less.

Can of beans. Can of corn. Microwavable rice. And seasoning. Top with cheese.

Kielbasa and sauerkraut! You can generally get both for less than $10 all in, and eat 2-3 times. Put the Kielbasa in a lidded roasting pan with sauerkraut and optionally add about half a bottle of beer for flavor (basically any beer works, my mom always used bud light just because it was around, so the standard does not have to be high) bake at 350° for around 1 - 1.5hrs to be fast, or at 270° for 3-4+ hours for the better slow-cooked version (It's almost impossible to burn this and cooking for longer generally only makes it better in my experience, if the sausage bursts it's definitely done, but kielbasa is typically fully cooked from the store so not too many worries about food-borne illness). Brands of sauerkraut also vary wildly in flavor so try a few. My personal favorite is the jarred Silverfloss brand, and a close second is Libby's.